What does the Bible say about Marriage?

our culture mocks Purity and actually promotes hookups and it's I almost think it's like walking through a desert and everyone's drinking ice cold water around you and then wondering why you're so thirsty and and some of you hear this and you're like you know what that's great that you say that like we should be pure I know the Bible says it I know this is what Paul says but you're like if I look at our world today you might think that's just impossible I can't live that [Music] way like man you don't have to tell me that my marriage is a burden right like I I feel that at times and and you may be voicing that inside because you're too scared to say that outside all right and then if you're single you're like can we not talk about this anymore like uh you're like ready to go into the lobby and go hide in the corner and it's like but here as Paul goes through this he kind of unpacks that both the blessing that come from this but also from this act of marriage this Covenant of marriage but also that come from a life of singleness and we see this started I want to First go through the blessings we see and if we get in 1 Corinthians 7 starting in verse 1 Paul writes this now in response to the matters you wrote about he said it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman but because sexual morality is so common each man should have sexual relations with his own wife and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband a husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise a wife to her husband a wife does not have the rights over her own body but her husband does in the same way a husband does not have the right over his own body but his wife does do not deprive one another except when you agree for a time to devote your themselves to prayer then come together again otherwise Satan May tempt you because of your lack of self-control skip down to verse 10 as he kind of continues this theme of talking to married people he says to the married I give this command not I but the Lord a wife is not to leave her husband but if she does leave she must re remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and a husband is to not divorce his wife but I not the Lord Paul is giving his opinion in these two verses say to the rest if any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him he must not divorce her also if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her she must not divorce her husband verse 14 for the unbelieving husband is made Holy by the wife and the unbelieving wife is made Holy by the husband otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is they are holy but if the unbeliever leaves let him leave a brother or sister is not bound in such cases God has called you to live in peace verse 16 wife for all you know you might save your husband husband for all you know you might save your wife here's the first blessing that we see when we talk about marriage and Paul unpacks a lot in here and let me a little side note is we preach through books of the Bible here at Cross church and and we always try to make it our goal in every section we do is read as much or all of the chapter and Today Chapter 7's so big that we're going to have to just kind of bounce around a little bit but here's our first point we kind of see as Paul shows us what is the blessing of marriage why is this such a special institution is this that marriage is the only way to experience the true gift of sex and engage in a true Covenant relationship with one another another you hear that Paul says that marriage the blessing of it is the only way to experience the true gift of sex that God has given the way he gave it and to engage in a true Covenant relationship with one another in verse one uh Paul starts this where like I said he is responding to the letters that have come in from the church at Corinth and he actually quotes them they said this they said it's good for a man not to have sexual relationships relations with a woman you see what happened at the church of Corinth is they lived in such a sexually promiscuous culture in Corinth in Rome that the response of the church is that married men decided to take this a step further and run to the Other Extreme they're like okay instead of going and doing everything the world's going to do we're just not going to have sex with our wives at all and Paul writes back and says you guys are idiots can I hear an amen all right from all the married men you can say Amen to that okay and you're like you know you were thinking it but they were like they had this idea they're like we're going to be so holy we're going to be so Pious that we're just not going to have sex with our wife and Paul's like time out God gave you that marriage God gave you this gift of sex to enjoy in a covenant marriage with one man and one woman it is a great thing it is a good thing from God he says enjoy it and he said this relationship the blessing of marriage is that this gift that God has given us it is to be enjoyed but marriage is more than that marriage also gives us the opportunity to experience a covenant relationship that reflects Christ's relationship with the church you see when we commit to loving one another in a way for Better or For Worse or to death do his part we're displaying a picture of God's faithful love to the world you see if you look at the Grand Arc of scripture and especially when you look at the Old Testament the old test is the story of a faithful husband and an Unfaithful wife the faithful husband in the Old Testament is God and the Unfaithful wife is his people the nation of Israel and every time God's giving commands every time God's loving them every time he's pursuing them they're constantly falling short they're constantly running to Idols in sin just as we do in our lives and you see this picture continues into the New Testament where we see through Jesus that the bride is made pure that the church comes and in the true bride of God Is Us the church because God pursues us and loves us and makes us clean and our marriages are a reflection of that you will never have a relationship that is closer than your marriage relationship not with your kids not with your best friends when you are with someone when sometimes you feel like you are stuck with someone at times all right that that grows you and that you in a way in a covenant that is only like Christ to his church but we also see there's a blessing of singleness because because maybe you hear all that and you're like you're single in the room and you're like dude this is depressing okay like you're just reminding me of what I do not have but let me remind you of something you have that the married people in the room do not have skip down to verse 32 and he says this I want you to be without concerns the unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord this is the single people he's talking about he says but the married man is concerned about the things of the world how he may please his wife and his interests are divided the unmarried woman or the Virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit but the married woman is concerned about the things of the world how she may please her husband verse 35 he says I am not saying this for your own benefit not to put a restraint on you but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction here's the blessing of singleness that we see through scripture that Paul reveals to us is in singleness this blessing is that you are only focused on pleasing and devoting one's life to the Lord you see this blessing in this single life is he says Paul tells us that single people have the unique opportunity to be focused on pleasing and devoting their life to God and God alone I I I think about this with my kids is it's really hard to have a conversation with my wife adult to adult when my kids are around okay like we try when we're driving we try at dinner and we're start talking and then it's like Mom Dad Mom Dad and and you know how you ignore them and you just keep talking like they're not there and you're like they'll get the picture mom dad they're like what and then we tell them we're like hey when adults are talking we're quiet that works for about 10 seconds and then it's Mom Dad and we're like okay all right like we can't have real conversations like deep in-depth conversations until they go to bed and that's when we sit on the couch on opposite sides and watch a show together right okay um marriage no I'm just kidding uh but partly true but here it it's see here's what Paul is showing is he saying when you're single you have the gift of undivided attention in your relationship with God you can serve you can Minister you can pursue God's kingdom without having to balance the legitimate demands of a spouse and a family this last year um in 2024 previous year is I was invited to go on a mission trip in the summer to Africa and with a bunch of pastors it was his vision trip that we going to do to see if we could go to Sudan and it was expenses paid I was like this is awesome right and I was learned about it in like January or December previously so it was like about six months out and I'm like oh this sounds great and then I started thinking about it a little more and the first thought that came to my mind was oh my wife is due to have our youngest daughter in March of last year all right and then I thought about a little more I'm like so in June she'll have four kids one newborn one of them a newborn will be all alone for like 2 weeks I'll have no Wi-Fi and can only communicate through whatsa which I don't even know what that is really but apparently that works in Africa okay should I go the question was you're saying yes that's cuz you ain't married Bro um and as I thought about this more I'm like man this would be a cool opportunity this would be great but I'm like what would I be dropping on my wife what would I be leaving her and as I prayed about it as I spent talking to my wife the answer became Crystal Clear like no man this is not an opportunity I can pursue right now and you think about that in the life of the Apostle Paul is his singleness allowed him to travel in a way that was amazing it is it allowed him to travel extensively to face persecution the guy got locked up in prison every other week and his wife and kids weren't at home worried instead Peter was is like hey can you make sure he has food and someone to make sure they can deliver his letters cuz he's going to write a little bit of the Gospel while he's in there okay but Paul had no one worried sick at home for him and in his life of singleness he was freed up to serve the kingdom in a way that married people simply could not but we also see the burdens of marriage and singleness I want to read these verses again 32 through 34 and look at it just through a different lens he said I want you to I want uh you to be without concerns okay he said the unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord but listen to this in verse 33 but the married man is concerned about the things of the Lord how he may please his wife married man in the room are you ever concerned about pleasing your wife of keeping peace in your marriage there's a couple head nons rest of you might need to do some work on the drive home from church all right and he said in verse 34 in his interest they're just divided but he continues he says the unmarried woman or the Virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord so that she may be holy both in body and spirit but then he goes to the married woman he said but the married woman is concerned about the things of her husband how she may please her husband married woman in the world are you ever in the room are you ever concerned about pleasing and loving and keeping peace with your husband in your life some lady in first service said sometimes the rest of you are just quiet all right apparently you're like I don't care he just he he keeps the peace and I just say whatever but here's the first burden we see of marriage that Paul kind of presents here is that your spouse and family become a god-given priority and a distraction here's the thing is marriage is a gift marriage is a blessing kids are amazing kids are wonderful all of that is something that God has given us but frankly If we're honest we see that it also is a distraction for how we can follow God that when you're married you can't just think about what you want or what you think God is calling you to do you have to consider your spouse your kids your family I I couldn't just pick up and go to Africa for two weeks on a moment and swim cuz I knew the effect that was going to have reverberating through my family and you see the Corinthian Church here this was especially applicable because here's what happened as we already said in verse one how Paul's addressing this kind of Twisted idea of they're like hey we're no longer going to sleep with our wives that's it but then they took it a step further and they wanted to go as far as we're going to divorce our wives so we can be more devoted to God we're going to get out of our marriages so all of a sudden we're freed up to do whatever we want and Paul's like no no no time out he said this is absurd because your your family is part of your journey your family is part of what you do and and you may hear this and some of you think like man uh you talk about your family takes a lot of your time like that's a little depressing and I I want you to hear I wouldn't trade my family for anything in the world I I love all of them I love what they open up for my Ministry I love what they do in my life but I would be lying if I said that because of my family there's things I have to say no to on a greater degree and and what Paul is showing here is that when we're married when we have kids that it changes how we see the world it changes what we're distracted by this past week uh we actually have a Bible group that we just started this was week three on Tuesday we're hosting young adults in our house for our family and we actually had to cancel 3 weeks in okay uh we canel last Tuesday and the reason why cuz my kids were throwing up okay I'm like you guys can come we'll share some stuff with you uh it might not leave nicely uh but in that like all of a sudden it disrupted that before I had kids um I worked I started working at like 14 years old I never had a sick day from work for like 15 plus years like into my 30s I don't think I ever called out sick from work until I had children and actually last week I got sick and had to take a sick day because usually sicknesses when you get it like you can work through it you can go to work it's like whatever I don't know postco I guess you're not supposed to spread stuff as much as you did before but whatever um but it wasn't that big of a deal but then when I had kids when my kids get sick they mutate the germs and they give them to me and all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to die okay like I don't know what it is but in here what Paul is unpacking for is what he's trying to see is there's this blessing that God has given us this marriage Institution we can truly enjoy the gift of sex we can get a preview and we can understand this Covenant relationship like nothing else but that they also become a priority and a distraction that doesn't allow us to serve in the same way when we are single but there's also a burden of singleness check out verse 9 he says but if they do not have self-control he's talking about unmarried people he said they should marry since it is better to marry than to burn with desire and Skip down to verse 28 he says however if you do get married you have not sin if a Virgin Mary she has not sinned but here's what he says but such people will have trouble in this life and I am trying to spare you here's the burden of singleness that Paul unpacks for us is if this is you is your self-control will be put to a greater test for singles Paul is just as blunt as he is with married people he says your self-control will be tried it will go through hardships think about this for a second is living in a sex saturated culture while maintaining biblical Purity is not easy Paul acknowledges this reality without sugarcoating it in any way and and I think about the pressures today that singles face we have things like dating apps that are in our face as social media is promoting kind of this life style our culture mocks Purity and actually promotes hookups and it's I I almost think it's like walking through a desert and everyone's drinking ice cold water around you and then wondering why you're so thirsty you see dating is tough being single is hard saying like why does God have me in this and and some of you hear this and you're like you know what like that's great that you say that like we should be pure I know the Bible says it I know this is what Paul says but you're like if if I look at our world today you might think that's just impossible I can't live that way but let's think of the context that Paul writes Us in he wrote this to the church in Corinth the most sexually promiscuous City in the entire Roman Empire that as part of pagan worship you went to the temple and there was a temple prostitute that was part of worshiping a God that this was a culture that it wasn't easy to just say no I'm pure no I'm single I'm going to a virgin I'm going to be single as he lays out in this text is there was constant pressure from the culture to compromise what you believe and to give into your sin in your flesh and when we look today in all these things that are up against single people when you look at pornography and and hookup culture and all this stuff you say it's too hard it's too impossible Paul says no no no you just got to have a little more self-control than maybe some other people and the burden of singleness as Paul is writing this is that yes it's going to be hard but he says it is also going to be worth it and Paul is writing this honestly from a standpoint where he understood the struggle as a single guy but here's what's amazing about Paul's words and as we kind of get into this text is biblically these aren't ranked marriage isn't better than singleness singleness isn't better than marriage Paul actually gives his opinion and he thinks singleness is better he's like I'm just you know more uh holy than you guys he's like but if you don't have self-control go get married but the Bible doesn't rank these things it doesn't say one is greater than the other it says God uses both of these things but instead it points us to something of how both of these are used by God and how God ultimately gives us contentment in each of these situations check out verse 17 it says this he says Let each one of you or Let each one live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him we could read a whole sermon on that just let that dwell on you for a second let each one live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him he's saying live where God puts you where God placed you where God has you don't be striving to find contentment and joy in all these other things but live your life where God has placed you he says this is what I command in all the church chur es and Skip down to verse 40 as he's talking to a a woman who has lost her husband who is a widower and he says this that kind of supports this idea of being happy in her situation he says but she is happier if she remains as she is in my opinion if she's content in the situation she has if she's living in the situation that the Lord has called and I think that I also have the spirit of God here's how we attempt to apply this idea if we talk about the blessings of marriage the blessings of singleness the burdens of marriage the burdens of singleness how do we take this chapter how do we take all this knowledge and this truth from God and attempt to live this out during our week and here's how I believe we apply this answer today is we need to find your purpose and you need to find your happiness in the situation that God has assigned to you here's I think the lie that our world gives us they're like hey once I get married I'll be happy that's what we say in the church sometimes un like not directly but we get these ideas that once I once I get married everything will be great and then you get married and you're like I thought it fixed everything or like hey once I live to my parents' Dreams of My Life I'll be happy once I achieve what social media says a successful life then I'll be joyous I'll find my purpose and God's like no no time out I either have you in a marriage maybe I have you in a life of singleness or a season of singleness and he says no matter where you're at stop waiting for that next situation to find your purpose to find your happiness but start living for the Lord Lord living in the life you have been assigned and called to right now you see this isn't easy to do in our culture today because I believe firmly that we are always looking for that next thing to fill us and this seems to go beyond a relationship status once we might get married or once we find that then it's like well I'm going to find it in my career I'm going to find it in my hobby I'm going to find it in this I'm going to find it in that and it's when God call a step back from all of that and asks us to evaluate am I finding my purpose am I finding my happiness in Jesus in Jesus alone am I content in where he has me do I have purpose wherewith he's placed me and is my life live and push in that direction