# The Tired Fight

Sermon transcript from Cross Church Surprise.
Series: Job
Date: October 25, 2026
Watch: https://crosschurchcares.com/surprise/episodes/the-tired-fight

## Summary

Are you feeling exhausted from the constant battles in your life? What happens when our tiredness turns our fights into personal attacks? Join us as we explore how to navigate the weariness of conflict and discover the hope that lies in seeking God amidst our struggles. Let's dive in together!

## Transcript

0:00 · This is the problem that happens in our personal lives with our personal fights.

0:05 · As we fight tired, as we start to attack the person, and then as we start to defend tired,

0:10 · and we feel like all of a sudden we're getting bitter, we're getting bleak about the outcomes,

0:14 · and we're getting biting coming back, all of a sudden it becomes the shift

0:20 · where instead of wanting to preserve the relationship, we want to win the arguments.

0:30 · Good morning Cross Church, how are we doing today?

0:32 · Hey, we are excited that you're here, and join us on a fantastic Sunday. We have our

0:37 · costumes and candy, and one of our kids to wear costumes, but some of those adults came in

0:41 · wearing costumes as well, and you look good. I actually got a surprise in between services.

0:47 · My kids were talking about their costumes last night, but then my wife decided to surprise me,

0:50 · and my oldest son Archie came up dressed like me, all right?

0:55 · Um, drew on a mustache, and had a book jersey on, and everything, so it was great.

1:00 · It was awesome. We're gonna get a picture, but we're so glad that you are here.

1:04 · Today we are diving into the book of Job, continuing on in our series, so if you have

1:08 · a Bible, go ahead and grab it and flip open to Job chapter 22. If you don't have a Bible,

1:14 · you can grab the one right in front of you underneath the seat, and that will be on page

1:19 · 455, Job chapter 22. And while you're flipping there, I want to share with you one of the

1:26 · worst pieces of marriage advice I've heard over the years that I got when I was married years

1:31 · and years ago, and you've probably heard it before, is don't go to bed angry, right?

1:39 · And that's actually from a Bible verse. In Ephesians chapter 4, they talk about Paul says,

1:44 · don't let the sun set on your anger, and Paul's actually quoting Psalm 22, and there actually

1:51 · knows Psalm, but as he quotes that Psalm, when Paul is saying that, the Psalm actually says,

1:58 · be angry and do not sin, but then it actually continues, it says, go to your bed and be quiet,

2:03 · all right? So it actually says the same, like, go take a nap, like, chill out.

2:07 · And here's why that can be a bad advice at times, when it says, you know, never go to

2:10 · bed angry is as you're like, maybe with your spouse, or talking to a family member,

2:15 · and you're angry, and you're continuing on being like, I don't want the sun to set on my anger.

2:20 · All of a sudden, that anger starts to morph. All of a sudden, instead of fighting with each other,

2:25 · you start fighting at each other. And instead of attacking the problem, you're attacking the

2:30 · person. And all of a sudden, it evolves to where you're not trying to seek resolution,

2:35 · but you're trying to seek winning the argument. And what ultimately happens is you get tired.

2:44 · And today, we're going to talk about how fighting tired is a very dangerous thing we can do.

2:50 · As we enter into the book of Job, if you've been with us during this time,

2:55 · and we see this suffering reality we're introduced to today is the book of Job. It takes us from

3:01 · why to who? Throughout this book, Job has asked these questions. Why is this happening? Why do

3:06 · bad things happen in our world? Why? Why? Why? And continually he's pushed to who God is. But by

3:13 · round three, round three of him hearing his friends try to fix his problems, everyone is

3:20 · too tired to ask either one. You see, Job is an incredible book that sets up in chapter one,

3:26 · where he had the ideal life. Job was living out the American dream 4,000 years ago before

3:33 · America existed. But he had the health, he had the wealth, he had the family, he was a great

3:39 · church member and a tender and serving he I rumor say he served in kids ministry. All right,

3:46 · he was on the rotation. But all of a sudden, behind the scenes, Satan went to God and said,

3:53 · hey, that guy, Joe, the only reason he goes to church, the only reason he loves you, the only

3:59 · reason he worships you is because of all that he has. Take it away, and he'll curse you.

4:06 · So all of a sudden, Job lost everything. He lost the health, he lost the wealth,

4:11 · he lost his kids, he lost everything that he held dear. And as his life starts to fall apart,

4:19 · we've seen over the last few weeks as the friends in his life start to come in and speak to him about

4:24 · how to fix his problems. And over the last four weeks, we've seen friend after friend

4:29 · be so encouraging. And by encouraging, we mean terrible. And as they're trying to give him

4:34 · advice to fix his life by the time we get here, to the third round of them trying to fix his

4:42 · problems, something has changed. The speeches are getting shorter, the tempers are getting

4:50 · sharper. And by the end of today's chapters, the friends will have said their final words in this

4:55 · book. And here's the deal. And what we can relate with today is tired people don't ask good

5:02 · questions. Tired people either just want to win, or they want it to end. So this morning,

5:10 · as we dive into this, we're going to watch two kinds of tired people, the tired people who fight

5:16 · and the tired people who defend. And if we're honest, both of us have been in these places

5:22 · in some point of our life, or maybe we're in it right now. And the first thing we see in this

5:27 · is we fight when we fight tired. The first thing we do is we slander. Check out Job chapter 22,

5:34 · starting in verse six. And Job has his good old buddy, Eliphaz. Now, if you remember Eliphaz,

5:40 · he's already talked twice in this, but he was the old wise man. He was Job's oldest friend. He was

5:46 · his wisest friend. He actually started by complimenting Job when his first speech. But

5:52 · something has changed in the last few speeches as they've gone back and forth. And check out how

5:58 · he begins this time in verse six of chapter 22. He says, for you, he's talking to Job, took collateral

6:04 · from your brothers without cause, stripping off their clothes and leaving them naked. You

6:10 · gave no water to the thirsty Job and you withheld food from the famished while the land belonged

6:15 · to a powerful man and an influential man lived on it. You Job sent widows away empty handed

6:23 · and the strength of the fatherless was crushed. Eliphaz, the nice old man who was giving

6:31 · encouragement in his first one, all of a sudden starts laying on things on Job, some accusations

6:40 · of things he never did. And here's the problem of all this is nobody saw Job do any of these

6:45 · things. He starts rewriting Job's past. Job never confessed to any of it. All of a sudden,

6:51 · Eliphaz starts making up things about his life. And not only is it false, it's actually backwards.

6:57 · In Job chapter 29, Job will tell us exactly what his former life looked like. Job says,

7:03 · I rescue the poor who cried out for help. He said, I was eyes to the blind and ears to the

7:09 · deaf. Job said, I loved people and I was there for people in God himself called Job blameless

7:16 · two different times. So the question becomes why did an old kind man invent a rap sheet for Job?

7:25 · Because his theology, his worldview needed Job to be guilty. If suffering always means there is sin

7:33 · in our life, then big suffering means there is big sin in our life. And when you run out of

7:39 · evidence, a tired man doesn't change his theology. He changes the facts. This past Sunday, we had Kyle

7:47 · preach and he did a great job, even if he talked about my glorious mustache in a negative light.

7:52 · But Kyle did a great job of walking through. He's like, dude, you gave me four chapters. I'm

7:56 · like, I'm preaching six next week. Just get over it and figure it out. Okay. And as he preached,

8:02 · that was funny. We actually shared some of what his sermon was and some clips online.

8:07 · And if you know Kyle, Kyle came out of that. He was born and raised Mormon and he was saved

8:12 · on his Mormon mission and he found Christ and left the Mormon church and found the real Jesus.

8:18 · And we had a clip on that of him sharing his story and then actually on Instagram, it went

8:23 · viral. Not for the good reasons. The Mormons found it and they were angry. All right.

8:30 · But the irony of all of it is I'm like reading comments. I'm like, I'm so glad there's

8:34 · negative comments of Kyle and not myself. All right. It was a breath of fresh air.

8:40 · But they weren't attacking the facts or what he said about the Bible and theology. They were

8:46 · attacking him as a person to tear him down because the facts were not on their side.

8:51 · And Eliphaz comes to a point where he's tired. He's like, I've done enough. He's like,

8:55 · I'm just going to start slandering the name of Job. And in round one, Eliphaz insinuated

9:03 · by round three, he's accusing. And that's how tired fighting works. All of a sudden I wonder

9:09 · turns into you always think about that fight that you maybe had in the middle of the night

9:15 · with your spouse or the loved one with your family. And all of a sudden it moves from,

9:21 · Hey, you did this thing to, you know, you always do that thing.

9:25 · I was like, you messed up here of like, you know, you are your mother or you are your father

9:30 · or you do this. And then it's like, if you keep talking, you will get buried. Right.

9:34 · But all of a sudden these words come out like always and never. And the problem is those words

9:41 · of always and never are never fair because nobody can live up to them. And church,

9:47 · did you know the crazy thing about this? As we see Eliphaz, as he accuses, as he slanders,

9:53 · as he tries to bring down the name of Job in the new Testament, the Greek word for devil actually

10:01 · means slanderer and accuser. The accuser builds his case with whatever he can find,

10:07 · whether it is true or not. And when we fight tired, we start slandering and borrowing the tactics

10:14 · of the enemy. When we fight tired, we not only slander, but we shrink.

10:18 · Up comes and you flip over to verse or chapter 25.

10:23 · Eliphaz shares and we'll see some of Job's response in a second, but then Bildad shares.

10:27 · And Bildad, the second friend, his third speech is the shortest speech in the whole book of Job,

10:33 · only six verses, but check out what he says in verse four. He says, how can a human be justified

10:40 · before God? How can one born of a woman be purer? If even the moon does not shine

10:46 · and the stars are not pure in his sight, how much less a human, this gets good, who is a maggot,

10:56 · a son of man, who is a worm? You see the speeches shrink, they get shorter,

11:07 · but so does the view of the person. All of a sudden, by this point, as Bildad is tearing into

11:14 · Job, he's saying, Job, you're a maggot. You're a worm. That's the last word Bildad will ever speak

11:20 · in the book of Job. That's a great word to be memorized. Like you're a worm, Job. Peace out.

11:26 · But here's what's sneaky about all this. Check out verse four because in verse four,

11:29 · he asked a great question and it's actually the same question that Job asked in chapter nine,

11:34 · verse two. Job asked, how can a person be justified before God? And Job asked this before

11:39 · he was longing for a mediator. He's like, how can we be justified before God? We need

11:44 · someone to mediate on our behalf. Bildad asked the same question, but he asked it to end the

11:50 · conversation. He's like, Job, you can't be pure. Job, nobody can. Job, you're a worm. Peace out.

11:57 · Good night. Conversation over. And yes, it is true that nobody is pure before a holy God of the

12:05 · universe. But here's the problem, is a doctrine of sin that has no grace attached doesn't lead

12:13 · anyone to God. It just makes people feel small, feel inadequate, and pushes them from God rather

12:19 · than towards him. And if we're honest, this is exactly what we do when we're tired. We shrink

12:25 · the other person until they're not worth the fight. Maybe some of you are pros in this when

12:31 · you're when you're fighting in this and you don't have to admit to it. But some of you might be

12:35 · good at the eye roll, right? Like though, like they're given the argument. And that eye roll

12:40 · says like, bro, you're not even worth responding to. All right. Like I would respond, but I might

12:47 · not can't because I probably can't compete with it. But I was like, I'm not going to respond

12:50 · because you're so, you're not even worth my response. Like it's saying like, whatever.

12:55 · Like I'm not even going to dignify you with a response in this argument.

13:00 · And Bildad's to this point. He's like, bro. He's like, whatever. You're not worth it anymore.

13:04 · Job, you're a worm. It's gone. It's done. But don't miss this. I love this little

13:09 · fact hidden in the scripture is Bildad said a son of man is a worm talking about Job.

13:15 · But century later, the son of man hung on a cross and he cried out the first line of Psalm 22,

13:21 · which is my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why have you abandoned me?

13:24 · And a few verses later in that same Psalm, it says, but I am a worm and not a man

13:30 · scorned by mankind and despised by people. Bildad used that word to push us away.

13:37 · Jesus took that word on himself to bring us home. You see, when we fight tired, we slander,

13:47 · we shrink, but we also stop. This point is a little different. If you're with us at Cross Church,

13:55 · we preach through pieces of scripture and books of the Bible. And I put verses to the points I give,

14:02 · but this one actually doesn't have one. This is like a missing chapter. You see in round one,

14:06 · all three friends spoke in round two, all three friends spoke in round two, it changed around

14:11 · three. It changes a little bit. Check this out. Eliphaz, he's the first one that speaks again in

14:16 · round three. And in here, he speaks and he has 30 verses to his name. Computer broke. All right.

14:28 · 30 verses. Look, look, look at what he says. All right. And we even read all of it. He gets really

14:32 · nice and just lifts up Job so much. Bildad gives six verses. Last friend, Zophar, you know how many

14:38 · verses he has? Zero. Can we say zero together? So I know you're awake. How many? Oh, I love that.

14:45 · That's fine. All right. But Zophar says zero. I want you to let this sink in for a second.

14:53 · Zophar earlier, the first time that he talked is essentially the guy with the microphone on the

15:00 · street corner saying, Hey, you're going to hell. Hey, repents or burn. Hey, confess or God will

15:09 · judge you and you'll be in hell for all of eternity. Zophar was the most radical,

15:15 · the most crazy, the most amped up with all of them. But by this point, he has nothing left to say.

15:25 · Scholars have actually tried to find his response. They've looked in chapter 27 and they're like,

15:29 · maybe Job, some of these aren't his words and maybe they're Zophar's words, but they more,

15:33 · they studied it. The simplest reading is the one sitting right in front of us is these friends.

15:39 · They ran out of steam. They didn't win. They didn't necessarily lose yet, but they just

15:47 · stopped. Marriage researcher, John Gottman found four patterns that predict a relationship or marriage

15:55 · will end if there's no corrective action in there. And he says there is criticism,

15:59 · there is contempt, there is defensiveness, and there is stonewalling. Stonewalling,

16:05 · he kind of flushes out and defines as when one person just shuts down and checks out.

16:11 · It's the rollover, the stare at the wall of I'm just not going to talk about it anymore. I'm done.

16:21 · Now remember chapter two, when these three first showed up, they sat with Job seven days and said

16:29 · nothing. And when we said that was the best thing they ever did, that was the best thing they did

16:34 · then. And it still is now because in chapter two, their silence was saying, we are staying. We are

16:40 · with you. We support you. We love you. But in chapter 24, their silence says we're done. We're

16:45 · out. We're leaving. The first silence was their presence. The last silence is their absence.

16:53 · And there is a world of difference between a friend who is quiet next to you and a friend

16:57 · who is quiet because they are checked out. So as we take all this in, super encouraging, by the way,

17:08 · and we see the responses from Job's friends, I just want you to take a second and you reflect

17:14 · on it too. When is this us? When we're fighting tired with our spouse, with our family, with our

17:24 · kids, with our friends, when we are fighting tired with God and we slander, we shrink, we stop,

17:34 · and we say, I'm done. But you see, the friends aren't the only ones who fought in this. And

17:42 · they're not the only ones that who are tired because Job keeps talking and listen to what

17:46 · three rounds of him being pounded have done to him. And we see in this shift here, we don't

17:51 · only fight tired, but what happens when we defend tired? And the first thing is we get bitter. Job,

17:58 · chapter 23, flip back over to Job, chapter 23. And Job first responds to Eliphaz. And Eliphaz's

18:05 · response, it says, then Job answered, he said, today also, today also my complaint is bitter,

18:15 · for his being God's hand is heavy, despite my groaning. Job starts this after just being heaped

18:26 · on by his friends, by his loved ones. He's like, guys, today also, he's like, because there's other

18:33 · days that have been like this. But today, especially to hear the weariness in his voice,

18:39 · months of this has gone on. All of a sudden, the meal train has stopped coming for Job. The sympathy

18:44 · cards have ran out. Everybody else has moved on with their life. And Job is still sitting in the

18:50 · midst of the ash sheep in his suffering. And he says, and today also, he says, it's bitter.

18:58 · And this is how bitterness work grief that sits too long without relief, it starts to harden in

19:04 · our lives. In Job 27, too, Job says it straight out that the Almighty has made me bitter. He says,

19:10 · God has made me bitter. Now, this is important. We need to hear this carefully. Job's honesty is

19:15 · not sin here. God will say at the end of this book that Job spoke rightly, but bitterness is

19:20 · what happens when honest pain is left out in the sun too long, it crusts over. Have you been

19:27 · in Arizona for any length of time? You'll find out you can't leave things in your backyard too

19:32 · long. I have four kids, so we play out in the backyard and we leave things out in the backyard

19:37 · too long. There's a Home Depot bucket just this past week. Then all of a sudden, we used to put

19:41 · like balls in and stuff. And then we threw a baseball to go back into it and it just went

19:45 · through the bucket in two ways, right? It had been in the sun too long. The plastic was cooked.

19:51 · It was done. It just shattered to pieces. And when her grief is left out, the bitterness that

19:58 · comes, it just shatters us. It breaks us. But yet, watch where this bitterness goes in Job's life

20:04 · because Job shows us the path to go. Check out verse three of chapter 23. I love this.

20:10 · And he's talking about how he's bitter, how God's heavy hand is groaning. But he says this,

20:14 · if only I knew how to find him being God so that I could go to his throne.

20:20 · Even bitter, Job is still looking for God. He's not running from the throne. He's looking for

20:30 · the door. He's looking for the place of where can I find God? A little over 10 years ago,

20:38 · it started in ministry and it started actually coming out of the corporate world. And

20:43 · Pastor Jackie here at Crossroads said, hey, we want to start another location. We want to start

20:47 · this collective thing. Why don't you go start Cross Church Phoenix? I'm like, I've never

20:52 · pastored before, but I feel called. I feel like I can do this. He's like, great, let's give it a go.

20:56 · All right. And a 25 year old, 10 had been married for just over a year or so. Stupid, full of like,

21:02 · you know, just nothing. No, actually full of nothing. No, no, like mindset on how to do this.

21:08 · In 2016, we launched. And as we launched, we were going for a while. And I remember

21:12 · not long after our second Easter, we're like finally getting her driving in my

21:16 · young college age worship leader, who was my only very, very part-time staff member. Like,

21:20 · we paid him in like food. He's like, dude, I'm done. I'm leaving the church. I'm like, well,

21:28 · that's a bummer. I got to find a new worship guy, which is not easy. And I was like, all right,

21:32 · that's fine. And so then I went to my right hand guy who was like on our leadership team,

21:35 · a volunteer who had done so much was awesome. And I'm like, hey, dude, like he's left. We got

21:41 · to, he's like, oh, by the way, he's like, yeah, sorry about that. My family's leaving too.

21:47 · I went to Jackie Mike. So yeah, this whole like starting collective thing, like you should find

21:50 · someone else. I think I'm done. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, this isn't great.

21:55 · He's like, I quit. I don't think I can be a pastor. I thought I liked people. Then I got

21:59 · accustomed to people and got close to people. And I found out I don't like people that much.

22:03 · I like them so much more nine years later, especially all you in this room. And if you're

22:07 · watching online, love you. But as I tried to quit, Jackie's like, just, just keep going.

22:17 · Just, just keep showing up. Keep praying that God would move and don't quit. Just keep searching

22:24 · for God and something will be okay. And guess what? Nine plus years later, that church is still

22:30 · going and it's actually better and healthier than it's ever been. Not because of me, but despite

22:35 · me. And because a bunch of people said, we're not going to quit. We're just going to keep

22:39 · seeking God. And Job, in the midst of his bitterness, in the midst of him feeling like

22:46 · this is too much, he just kept seeking God. But guess what? Even in the middle of that

22:50 · seeking and looking for God, he got bleak. And this is our second thing. When we defend

22:55 · tired, we not get bitter, but we get bleak and check out this. I love the honesty from Job and

23:00 · in a little larger section here is in chapter 24, Job zooms out and he stops just looking at his

23:07 · private life and he starts surveying the whole world around him. And check out where he goes with

23:13 · it. Chapter 24 starting in verse one, he says this, why does the almighty not reserve times for

23:18 · judgment? Why do those who know him never see his days? The wicked display boundary markers. They

23:25 · steal a flock or displace boundary markers. They steal a flock and provide pasture for it. They

23:29 · drive away the donkeys owned by the fatherless and they take the widow's ox as collateral.

23:33 · He says they push the needy off the road. The poor of the land are forced in the hiding.

23:38 · Like wild donkeys in the wilderness, the poor go out to their task of forging for food.

23:43 · The desert provides nourishment for their children. They gather their fodder in the

23:48 · fields and they glean the vineyards of the wicked without clothing. They spend the night naked,

23:52 · having no covering against the cold drenched by mountain rains. They huddled against the rocks

23:58 · shelterless. The fatherless infant is snatched from the breast. The nursing child of the poor

24:03 · is seized as collateral without clothing. They wonder about naked. They carry sheaves but go

24:11 · hungry. They crush olives in their presses. They tread the wine press but go thirsty.

24:17 · In verse 12 is just heartbreaking from the city. Men groan, the mortally wounded cry for help.

24:26 · Yet God pays no attention to this crime. Job got dark. And hear this, Job got dark 4,000 years ago

24:41 · before Twitter and CNN and Fox News. He didn't even need help in getting him dark. He's just

24:46 · looking out in the world around him. He's like this place is jacked up. And what Job starts

24:53 · describing is just injustice everywhere. He's like guys like boundary stones are moved. Like

24:58 · people are just stealing from lands. He's like these orphans, their donkeys are stolen.

25:02 · He's like the nursing child of the poor is literally seized and is ransomed as collateral.

25:08 · He's like in verse 10 he says without clothing they're just wandering about naked. He's like

25:12 · there's poverty everywhere. And what Job is describing here is this wickedness, this

25:15 · collateral, this naked, these widows, these fatherless. And here's what's crazy

25:20 · is this list has actually been said before. This week you can go see this as this list

25:25 · comes from Eliphaz in chapter 22. And Job takes the exact crimes that Eliphaz accused him of and

25:32 · says Eliphaz you've got the wrong crimes but you've got the wrong criminal. He says those things

25:40 · really happen. Our world is still messed up. Our world is dark. Our world is broken. But he's like

25:44 · and God isn't stopping the people who actually do them. But he's like but I didn't do those things.

25:49 · But verse 12 really just gives the heart of Job in this bleak time of his life where he

25:56 · says the mortally wounded cry for help. But he says this yet God pays no attention to this crime.

26:06 · Job is literally doing what we do today when we wake up at 2 a.m. you open your phone and you

26:13 · start doom scrolling and you just get more and more depressed. Man you open Facebook, you open

26:19 · Twitter or X, you open Fox News, CNN or any news source. The only thing you open up and you get

26:24 · happy with is Instagram and TikTok but you're getting dumber as you're scrolling nose. All right

26:28 · just happy dumb. All right ignorant. But then we just scroll the rest and it's just like this

26:33 · weight of like wow our world is bad. Wow this place is full of sinners. Wow sometimes we're

26:42 · encouraged like at least I'm not that bad right. That's what some of us think. All right just

26:47 · me cool. But you hear this and you see this and Job just feels like the world is hopeless.

26:56 · But here's the deal. Job sees this because tired eyes only see the dark.

27:03 · And Job isn't wrong that the dark is real but he is wrong that God isn't paying attention.

27:09 · Job asked why God doesn't set a time for judgment but church he has. You go to the

27:13 · New Testament Acts 1731 it tells us that he has set a day when he is going to judge the

27:19 · world in righteousness by the man Jesus Christ that he has appointed. He has just provided proof

27:24 · of this to everyone by raising him from the dead. That God does see. God does notice the empty tomb

27:31 · is God's receipt and every crime in chapter 24 and done throughout history is on his calendar.

27:39 · But when we are tired we ignore this. We get bitter we get bleak and lastly we get biting.

27:49 · Finally Job as he's tired this is maybe my favorite Job and check over to chapter 26

27:55 · it's Job gets sarcastic. You wonder why that's my favorite Job, sarcastic Job.

28:00 · But listen to his response to Bill Dad's speech after Bill Dad calls him a worm.

28:05 · Check out Job chapter 26 and says then Job answered in verse 2 he says how have you helped

28:11 · the powerless? He's like all right Bill Dad I'm a worm what have you done? He's like how have you

28:17 · delivered the arm that is weak? How how you have counseled the unwise and abundantly provided

28:22 · insight with whom did you speak these words with whose breath came out of your mouth? He's

28:27 · like Bill Dad I don't even think you pay taxes you are just he's like I don't even think you're

28:32 · contributing to society he's like what are you doing Bill Dad? Who are you? Job here

28:39 · has just gotten to the point where he is biting he's attacking back because he feels like he's

28:44 · being attacked. You remember Gottman's four patterns we've now seen them all four this morning is

28:50 · criticism that turned into slander there's contempt there's stonewalling and here's the very last one

28:55 · this defensiveness of Job but check a chapter over in chapter 27 verse five and six this is

29:03 · kind of how this this builds in Job as he is laying out all this as he's feeling like he's

29:09 · defending himself and then he says this I will never affirm that you are right that's usually

29:16 · the 3 a.m part of the argument right like you will never be right but he says this I will

29:23 · maintain my integrity until I die he says I will cling to my righteousness and never let it go

29:31 · my conscious will not accuse me as long as I live now there's a lot of weight what's happening here

29:38 · and Job is right about the facts he didn't do what they said he did and it's good for him for

29:45 · not confessing to sin and crimes he did not commit but listen to the grip in the stance he

29:51 · takes he says I will cling to my righteousness and I will never let it go when you're tired

29:58 · being right becomes the last thing that you've got to hold on to and a man or woman who is so tired

30:06 · who's holding on to being right that tightly is in danger because later when God finally speaks

30:12 · he'll ask Job in chapter 40 verse 8 he says would you declare me guilty to justify himself

30:18 · God's asking Job am I guilty Job in order to justify yourself and that's where tired defending

30:25 · ends up to keep my righteousness to keep our righteousness all of a sudden we have to make God

30:31 · the bad guy this is the problem this happens in our personal lives with our personal fights

30:39 · as we fight tired as we start to attack the person and then as we start to defend tired

30:44 · and we feel like all of a sudden we're getting bitter we're getting bleak about the outcomes

30:48 · and we're getting biting coming back all of a sudden it becomes this shift where instead of

30:55 · wanting to preserve the relationship we want to win the arguments all of a sudden the argument

31:02 · and being right becomes more important than the marriage all of a sudden the fighting with your

31:07 · family becomes more important than the reconciliation that God can bring and Job comes to this place

31:14 · where he is clinging to his righteousness but church

31:19 · the gospel never asks us to cling to our own righteousness instead of hands of someone else's

31:27 · so let's put this whole thing together today

31:31 · as we cover all these chapters this great swath of scripture these friends that are fighting in

31:37 · our total jerks right and then Job's response that is filled with defensiveness and anger

31:42 · and everything else and what we see from this is we see ourselves in here that when we fight tired

31:50 · we slander we shrink we stop when we defend tired like Job did we get bitter we get bleak and we

31:56 · get but biting and in this story everyone in this situation everyone sitting on the ash heap

32:02 · is exhausted but here's what i love right in the middle of this in chapter 23 buried under the

32:13 · bitterness Job says something that changes everything and lean into these three verses

32:19 · Job chapter 23 verse 8 he says if i go east he is not there talking about God if i go west

32:29 · i cannot perceive him when he is at work to the north i cannot see him when he turns south

32:35 · i cannot find him yet he knows the way i have taken when he has tested me i will emerge as pure

32:46 · gold Job's like i'm searching for God but it's like but God i'm tired and where are you at

32:55 · he says if i look to the east i honestly have no idea where the east is in this room right now

33:00 · all right did anyone help me out where is it that way it's like people in first service

33:05 · pointed five different ways see you're pointing that way you're pointing that way you're pointing

33:08 · that way all right the only way i know like if i have a compass is like never eat sour watermelons

33:13 · right that's how you know where the compass goes but um you're looking at me like you have

33:17 · no idea what that is we'll talk later Austin but Job let's pretend like this is north what

33:25 · Job is like hey if i go east he's not there if i go west he's not there if i go north if

33:31 · i go south he's like God where in the world are you he's like i feel so abandoned i feel so tired

33:40 · that i don't even have enough energy to find you but in verse 10 he says something so honest

33:47 · in the midst of his pain he says yet he knows the way i have taken

33:56 · Job can't find God but God did not lose Job and here is the enduring truth that comes out of this

34:06 · passage that changes how we react to this is you can be too tired to find God that can be you you

34:13 · can be too tired to fight the right way in your relationships you can be too tired to seek God

34:19 · the right way and all this sudden you are you are falling into the traps of Job and his friends

34:24 · here but you can be too tired to find God and yet still be the gold that he's refining

34:34 · see what he says in the second half of verse 10 he says when he has tested me the God who knows

34:40 · where he is even though he does not know where God is he says i will emerge as pure gold

34:47 · you see gold doesn't refine itself gold doesn't feel the fire and get purer by trying harder

34:56 · gold just sits in the heat and the refiner does the work and here's the part about refining is

35:04 · the refiner doesn't walk away there's an old story about some ladies in church having a Bible study

35:11 · and they came again across the passage of Malachi 3 and they hit verse 3 in Malachi 3 where God says

35:17 · he will be like a refiner of silver and gold the old king James puts it this way is he shall sit

35:22 · as a refiner and purifier of silver and one of the women was curious and she asked she's like

35:30 · why does God sit like why is he sitting as he's refining us like why is he not standing up like

35:36 · cheering you know cheering for us like why is he sitting as she did that so she went and she called

35:41 · a silversmith now this is a long time ago because i don't even know if silversmith still exist or

35:45 · like if you know how to refine things like i want to come sit with you all right but she

35:49 · stood and she asked him she's like can i watch you work and as she sat in his shop while he held

35:54 · a piece of silver over the fire he told her you have to hold it right in the middle of flame

36:00 · because that's where it's the hottest and because that's the only place

36:04 · that the impurities will burn off then she asked like well do you have to sit here the whole time

36:09 · can it be like a smoker like you hold it and you walk away and you check your meat and just

36:13 · prod it a couple times right and she said and he said yes like i can't take my eyes off it

36:19 · because if it stays in the fire one moment too long it's ruined she was quiet for a second and

36:26 · taking this in and then she asked one more question well how do you know when it's done

36:34 · and he smiled he says oh that's easy when i can see my reflection in its church think about what

36:45 · this means for joe joe looked east he looked west he looked north and he looked south and he said i

36:54 · can't find him but the refiner never left his chair joe couldn't see god but god never took his

37:01 · eyes off of joe not for one second not one moment too long and that's verse 10 he knows the ways i

37:06 · have taken and what is the refiner looking for he's looking for his reflection romans 8 says god's

37:12 · plan is for his people to be conformed to the image of his son and jesus christ and here's

37:19 · what this means for us is that the fire is in god trying to destroy you the struggles the stress

37:26 · the suffering the stuff of this world that looks so bleak and you're like why can my life not take

37:32 · a turn and just get better and i'm so so tired that is not trying to destroy you it's god looking

37:38 · for jesus in you and the new testament picks this up centuries later peter picks this up

37:51 · and he writes to suffering christians and i love this passage in first peter chapter one verses six

37:57 · and seven peter says you rejoice in this even though now for a short time if necessary you suffer

38:04 · grief in various trials peter says life's gonna be hard guys like life is going to kick you

38:09 · and then you get up and life's gonna kick you again and you're gonna be so tired like i'm done

38:14 · i can't do this it is too much but key readers keeps going on in this and as he

38:20 · talks about these trials he says this is the purpose of them verse six or verse seven so that

38:25 · the proven character of your faith he's saying this will prove your faith and he defines your faith

38:31 · that is more valuable than gold which though perishable is refined by fire our faith is refined

38:36 · just the same way and he says this is what happens through these trials is your faith may

38:41 · result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of jesus christ you see joe

38:51 · is going through it but what's being refined what's being refined in us

39:02 · is our faith that is the true gold church the fire is real our world is so broken and it hurts

39:14 · so much at times the church the refiner is real too and how can we be sure of that because jesus

39:25 · has been here before jesus took our place on the cross he endured the fire of our sin

39:35 · and he died a death that we could not die so that we could become pure on the other side because

39:41 · of his death and his resurrection and as jesus took what was meant for us jesus provided a path

39:55 · that no longer do we have to tirelessly earn our way to god no longer do we have to tirelessly

40:02 · search for truth in god but he has revealed it to us he has brought it to us and he says i have

40:08 · done the work here it is take it and as we let this sit with us today

40:19 · as we look at our relationships we look at our family and our friends and our marriages and there

40:26 · will be times where you're like i'm tired just throw in the towel i'm done be like god i don't

40:37 · even know if you care if you're there i don't know if you're judging these wicked people that i'm

40:43 · scrolling online god i don't know if you have a plan for me and i'm tired and i can't keep doing it

40:54 · the refiner is sitting there he is holding you and he is waiting for you to look just a little

41:03 · bit more like him and here's the encouragement when we are tired and we want to say i can't do

41:11 · this anymore there's a verse i want you to just pray over in psalm chapter 121 verse 4 i just love

41:19 · this little verse it says indeed the protector of israel does not slumber and he does not sleep

41:30 · you get tired maybe sometimes you just need to take a nap because you've got a bad attitude

41:38 · but we serve the god of the universe who does not slumber who does not get tired

41:48 · and even when we don't know where to find him he knows where we are and he is refining our faith

41:55 · through it at two a.m when you reach for your phone just scroll what if you've reached and

42:02 · just prayed that verse is god i know you see me what if in the midst of your fight when you are

42:09 · ready to call it quits and you're ready to say i'm done i can't do this anymore what if you

42:14 · stop the one who knew where you were all along and said god i am too tired for this but you are

42:21 · not church we serve a savior in jesus christ who took on the hardship the stress the death of this

42:35 · world so that we can no longer bear things that are not ours we can no longer have to worry

42:46 · about having enough strength and energy to push through and we can trust in the one

42:52 · who has paid it who does not slumber and who can change our life now and for all eternity

43:00 · will you trust him will you look to him when you are tired will you let him fight for you