# Messy Men Sermon transcript from Cross Church El Mirage. Series: Family Date: June 15, 2025 Watch: https://crosschurchcares.com/el-mirage/episodes/messy-men ## Summary What does it really mean to embrace masculinity in a world that often mislabels it? Are we ready to step up and lead with purpose, or are we letting life pass us by? Join us as we explore the messy yet noble journey of fatherhood and manhood. Let's dive in together! ## Transcript Welcome to Cross Church. My name is Tyler and I serve as campus pastor right here at Cross Church Elmarrage and I want to welcome you to service today. Before we get started, I want to make you aware of a couple of ways that you can connect with us today. The first, if you have a phone with you, you can send a text message with the word crossurch no space to the number 9400. Or if you'd like to use the cards that are in the seat back in front of you, we've got three cards that'll direct you on ways that you can get connected this week. The first is the new card. If you're new to church over the last few weeks. We would love to connect with you. Take some time to fill out that card during our service today and drop it in one of the black boxes and then we'll follow up with you this week with some more information. The next card is the next card. Take some time to use that card if you're interested in taking some next steps in your faith journey. Things like baptism, joining a group, or even serving. And then lastly, and I believe most importantly, is the prayer card. And I want to guarantee you that if you take time today to fill out that prayer card, all of those come to me and I get to each of them individually. So, if you've got things big or small going on in your life, please feel free to share those with us. We'd be happy to pray over them. Hey, as we get prepared for some God-honoring worship, I want to encourage you to go into service today with an expectant spirit. We know that God will do big things in our midst. And so, I want to encourage you to enter this time with an expectant spirit. And let's get prepared for some God Hey, good morning everyone. Let's all stand together. Let's all get ready to worship. There's a rain coming. We better get ready. We'll wash your heart and dry your eyes. We'll clean your soul. There's a way going. We better get ready. It's caring love. It's caring joy. It'll carry you home. [Music] Your hearts need breaking. If the world needs healing and the heavens open, your curse is broken. See your kingdom flood the earth. Oh hell, King Jesus. Salvation belongs to you. All power, all glory, it's yours. It's yours forever and ever. Yeah, there's a song coming. It's the sound of the nations. It's banner of praise. Sinners and saints. An army of love. The hearts need breaking. The world needs healing. The heavens open. The curse is broken. See your kingdom flood the earth. Oh hell. King Jesus, salvation belongs to you. All power, all glory is yours is yours forever and ever. Oh hell, King Jesus, salvation belongs to you. All power, all glory is yours. It's yours forever and ever. [Music] The joy of God has come upon us. Sing praise. Sing praise. The heart of God is here among us. Sing praise. Sing praise. Spirit of God, you burn within us. Sing praise. Sing praise. Son of God, you reign forever. Sing praise. Sing praise. The joy of God has come upon us. Sing praise. Sing praise. The heart of God is here among us. Sing praise. Sing praise. Spirit of God. You burn within us. Sing praise. Sing praise, son of God. You live forever. Sing praise. Sing praise. [Music] All salvation belongs to you. [Music] Oh hell, King Jesus. Salvation belongs to you. All power, all glory is yours. It's yours forever and ever. All health, King Jesus, salvation belongs to you. All power, all glory is yours. is yours forever. The joy of God is full of us. Sing praise. Sing praise. The heart of God is here. Sing praise. Sing praise. Spirit of God you burn with us. Sing praise. Sing praise. of God you reign forever. Sing praise. Sing praise. [Music] [Music] [Music] on the God of Jacob whose love endures through gen. [Music] I'm calling on the God of Moses, the one who opened up the ocean. I need you now to do the same, for me. Oh God, my God, I need you. Oh God, my God, I need you now. How I need you now. Oh rock, oh rock of ages. I'm standing on your faithfulness. On your faithfulness. [Music] I'm calling on the God of Mary whose favor rest upon the lonely. I know with you all things are possible. I'm calling on the God of David. [Music] Oh, a shepherd boy courageous. I may not face Goliath. But I've got my own giant. Oh God, my God, I need you. Oh God, my God, I need you now. How I need you now. Oh rock. Oh rock of ages, I'm standing on your faithfulness. On your faithfulness. Oh God, my God, I need you. Oh God, my God, I need you now. How I need you now. Oh rock, oh rock of ages, I'm standing on your faithfulness, on your faithfulness. [Music] It's your faithfulness I'm standing on. Never changes. Never changes. You hurt your children. Then you hear your children now. You are the same God. You are the same God. You answered prayers back then and you will answer now. You are the same God. You are the same God. You were providing then you are providing now. You are the same God. You are the same God. You moved in power then God move in power. Now you are the same God. You are the same God. You were a healer then. You are a healer. Now you are the same God. You are the same God. You were a savior. Then you are a savior. Now you are the same God. You are the same God. Oh God, my God, I need you. Oh God, my God, I need you now. How I need you now. [Music] Oh rock, oh rock of ages. I'm standing on your faithfulness. On your faithfulness. Oh God, my God, I need you. Oh God, my God, I need you now. How I need you now. Oh rock, oh rock of ages. I'm standing on your faithfulness. on your faithfulness. [Music] Your faithful name. [Music] Jesus, you are the same yesterday, today, and forever. [Music] You're the same God. You're the God. [Music] You're the same God. You're the same God. [Music] You free the captives. Then you're freeing hearts right now. You are the same God. You are the same God. You touch the touch right now. You are the same God. You are the same God. [Music] [Music] I'm calling on the Holy Spirit. Almighty River, come and fill me again. Come and fill me again. Come and fill me [Music] again. Come thou found of every blessing. Tune in my heart to sing thy grace. Streams of mercy never ceaseing. Call for songs of loudest praise. Teach me some [Music] songs above. [Music] Praise the mouth. I'm fixed upon it. Mount of the redeeming love. Here [Music] I raise my ever hither by thy help I'm come and I hope by thy good me safely to arrive at home. Jesus saw me when a strangeanger wandering from the fault of God. He to rescue me from danger and to pose his precious life. [Music] Oh to grace. Oh to grace how great a daily I'm conrained to be. Let thy goodness like a feather bind my wondering heart to thee. Prone to wonder. Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord. Take it. Seal it. Seal it for thy courts above. Let's sing that verse again. Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be. Let thy goodness like a feather bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wonder. Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord. Take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above. Here's my heart, Lord. Take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above. All right, let's give another hand for the worship team. Well, good morning everyone. You may all be seated. If you haven't met me yet, my name is Noah. So, nice to meet you. Uh, today is a very special day. We have some props up here and out there. And it's actually motorcycle day, believe it or not. I'm just kidding. It's Father's Day. So, happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. uh coming from one dad to another dad. Um it's a great day. So, and let's enjoy it while it lasts. Uh we at Cross Church, we really value fathers. So, if you haven't already, make sure to go out there, get some root beer and ice cream, make yourself a good root beer float, stack up on some sugar to get some energy for the day. You know what I'm saying? All right. Um but, uh quickly, I'll go over these cards. You probably already know by now if you've been here a couple times, but we got to say it every time. So, for the new card, it's for people that have been here maybe one or two times and just want to little learn a little bit more about Cross Church. So, just put your info on there and then someone will reach out to you uh once you drop it off in one of the black boxes before you leave. We have the next card. The next card is going to be for people that have been coming to Cross Church for a couple weeks now or maybe have already been a member and you want to learn how to serve or how to be more involved. So, we have Bible groups, we have kids ministry, we have the worship team, of course, first impressions, and a little bit more. So, make sure if you feel God calling you to serve or just being more involved, next card is what you want to fill out. And lastly, and most importantly, is the prayer card. Here at Cross Church, we really believe in prayer. It's really big for just everything in general. Uh, I know when you fill out these cards, Pastor Tyler does go through each and every one of them and make sure he prays for you. So, make sure if you have a prayer request for yourself or for someone else to fill it out and drop it off in one of the black boxes behind you. Now, going for our announcements. Actually, you know, I forgot one thing. It's Father's Day, so I forgot I was supposed to say a dad joke for today. Um, hopefully it's not too bad. Um, hopefully it's not too bad. So, here's the joke. Uh, why was dad staring at the orange juice on Father's Day brunch? What do you think? It's because it said to concentrate. Get it? If you're conc. It's good. Okay. Anyways, uh bad joke aside, next week we have some awesome things planned. We have baptism, which is amazing. Yes, big hand for baptism. All right. One, no hand for baptism. That's okay. Baptisms are amazing. It really gives me and I'm sure a lot of you a big joy in your heart to see people baptized. I think aside from me being married and having our child our son. Um that probably is number three I would say just of a great feeling to have. So definitely if you haven't signed up yet or if you know someone wants to sign up make sure to get them in there. We're going to have that next week after both services. Uh also next week we're having summer Sundays as well. So, if you haven't been here already during the summer, it's hot. But we at Cross Church Elm Mirage have water slides for the kids. I didn't tell Pastor Tyler this yet, but I think we should petition for Pastor Tyler to also join on that water slide. So, so let's make sure we get a swimsuit for Pastor Tyler and then uh we'll take some videos and it should be great. We'll also have popsicles which is going to be great to cool down and of course fellowship. So, make sure after service next week that you join us for that. Um, also coming up, so Wednesdays from now on, we kicked it off last week, but we're starting summer series or we started, I should say, summer series. That's going from Wednesday from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. We have a women's group, a men's group, and a youth group. So, you really have no excuse not to join. So, make sure sign up, join if you can. It's going to be awesome. Um, I also wanted to add this on there. We're having Zona Camp and kids camp. Izona camp for the youth kids next in about one week and kids camp in two weeks. Um registration did close so you can't really join anymore but I wanted to bring it up so that way we can keep the kids and also the leaders in prayer. I know when I was leading youth group and helping uh I should say leading as a leader in youth group at camp uh it was a lot. It was a lot but you learn to join like have some amazing relationships with the kids and watching them grow from like younger and all the way up. It's just amazing to see and next thing you know they give their life to Christ and that's what this is all about. So make sure to keep them in prayer. Um and that leads to our story of the week. Uh story of the week we have uh the summer series and we actually had a really big turnout last week. So last Wednesday we had over 60 people sign up. I think it was amazing. Uh I heard the women's group had like 30 people. So that's half of the list. That's pretty amazing. Um, so if you so for the women, if you do want to sign up, I heard it's kind of packed, but you can still sign up. So, make sure to do so. And we guys apparently only had 12, so we got to work on that, guys. Um, aside from that though, that leads us to the last point and that's for giving. I know a lot of you do probably give online, um, but we just want to give another opportunity to do so to help Cross Church's mission and vision of making Jesus known. So, 30 seconds behind me for that. [Music] [Music] Well, hey, good morning and welcome to Cross Church. My name is Tyler. If we haven't gotten a chance to meet yet, I would love to connect with you. I'll be outside underneath the tent after service. So, feel free to swing by there. Would love to hear a little bit of your story, but also share some more information about the church there. If you got a Bible today, we're going to be in Proverbs chapter 5. I'll let you flip there or click there. Make your way there somehow to Proverbs chapter 5. It is Father's Day. So, happy Father's Day to those in the room and for those watching online. We're so glad that you have joined us today. Uh here's the deal. It's Father's Day and we're in this series that we're calling family less of the mess. If we're honest around family, there's often times messiness, right? It may not be intentional. It's maybe not how we designed it, but it's just a reality of life that family is oftentimes messy. Uh, but here's the deal. The hope that we find today is that God's word gives us instructions on all these different aspects of family for how we can do it different and better than what the rest of the world tells us. And so, we'll get to that here in just a minute out of Proverbs chapter 5. I've entitled today's message, Fatherly Figures. Now, here is what I would like to put before you today before we get into the Bible. Okay? So, it's just opinion. Let's clear line. Um, I think we need to have something I'd like to refer to as a fatherhood Olympics. All right? Let me explain this to you. Every single year, without fail, I hear everybody say, "Happy Father's Day to the best dad ever." Here's the deal. Not everyone is the best dad ever. All right? And so as a competitive person, all right, we don't give out participation trophies. I'd like to put before you fatherhood Olympics. All right. And here's what I think we ought to do. We ought to get a list of tasks together. Put all the dads in the room and figure out who is the best dad ever. All right. Here's what's on my list. All right. It's a competition. All right. Every time. Dads do it every time. Every dad does this. You can admit this. Who can beat the time that the GPS says to get to the destination? All right. You best believe and my GPS says I'll be there at 5:31. I will be there at 5:27. All right. No bathroom breaks, no stops for gas. We're going to beat the time. I think one of them is um falling asleep on the couch fastest. All right. Any dads in there do that. I up and down. I was like, I'm never going to do that. And now at 8:30 at night, but I'm just resting my eyes. All right. Just so we're clear. That's not sleeping. All right. I think grilling the perfect steak has to be on that list. Lots of different methods, but that's got to be on the list. I think the ability to find the right screwdriver out of all of your tools fastest. All right. I don't know about you guys, the outside eyes would look at all of my tools and be like, "That's a mess." But I know exactly where everything is. All right. So, it's just this, you know, finding the perfect screwdriver, taking the trash out, right? That's such a dad task. All right. Um, but here's the deal. The fatherhood Olympics remind us of the reality that there are certain things that men or that fathers just should do. Um it's part of our responsibility culturally. But what I often feel like ends up happening is a juggling act. And just to be honest, I'm preaching to myself as much as anyone else today. There there is this juggling act that exists for men that there are so many roles that men wear from father to husband to co-orker to boss to employee to all of these different roles and it could be tough and whether you're in the room and you are a man a young man or if you are raising one whatever the case may be I think it is helpful for us to turn the page today and see what scripture says of how we can get out of the mess and it's by this key thought. If we want less of the mess, we need to look to the book. God's word gives us instruction on this. So, let's read out of Proverbs chapter 5. We'll begin in verse one. Let's read together. It says this, "My son, pay attention to my wisdom. Listen closely to my understanding so that you may maintain discretion and your lips safeguard knowledge. Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey, and her words are smoother than oil, in the end she's as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a double-edged sword. In verse 5, her feet go down to death. Her steps head straight for shield. She doesn't consider the path of life. She doesn't know that her ways are unstable. In verse seven, so now sons, listen to me and don't turn away from the words of my mouth. In verse eight, keep your way far from her. Don't go near the door of her house. Otherwise, you will give up your vitality to others and your years to someone cruel. Strangers will drain your resources, and your hard-earned pay will end up in a foreigner's house. At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed. And you will say how I hated discipline and how my heart despised correction. I didn't obey my teachers or listen closely to my instructors. I am on the verge of complete ruin before the entire community. Let's pray as we dive in today. God, we come to you understanding that your way is better. That you have the game plan for life. And God, whether we find ourselves in this room trying to be a godly man, raise a godly man, or even support one in our lives, God, I pray that you give us wisdom of how to do that better today. Pray all of that in your name. Amen. Now, here's the conversation today. Uh I don't know if you guys have heard this conversation around uh masculinity, but oftentimes the associated word there is toxic masculinity. Have you heard this before? Um it was really popular a few years ago. Still kind of out there. And I want to give you this first assertion today. Just because there are some examples of toxic masculinity does not mean that all masculinity is toxic. I believe God has given us masculinity for a reason. That manhood is a good thing and we should leverage it to the fullest. Not to be toxic but to follow what scripture commands us to. And so here's what I want to do. I want to walk through Proverbs chapter 5 with you. And uh want to give you this first uh bit of sort of instruction as we walk through Proverbs 5. If I were picking arbitrarily through the Bible, the easiest passage to preach today, Proverbs 5 wouldn't be it. Right? There's a little bit of a call out here and there's some deep instruction here, but here's what I believe to be true about Proverbs 5. What it says for us is it lays out a sort of path or guidelines of how we can handle temptation or seduction. This is very clearly about physical seduction. But I believe what we'll find is for the men in the room, the same temptations to the physical seduct seduction exists to abdicating our roles, giving up what God has called us to. And so it's important for us to understand that it is about avoiding seduction in all areas of life. Proverbs 5 starts in verse one by saying, "My sons, my sons." We get this instruction here from a father to a son. He is imparting wisdom to his sons. And so today, I want to start by talking about what masculinity is or should be. And then we'll begin to talk about how it fleshes itself out. The first thing I want you to see in this text is that masculinity is necessary. Masculinity is necessary. To be clear and honest, there is a culture that exists in our world today that calls us as men to apologize for our masculinity. We don't need to do that. God has given masculinity to us. Now, understand, we don't have to be jerks about it, but understand, we have been given this. Our masculinity is necessary. I believe it's connected to a a process of maturing. 1 Corinthians 13 would speak to this. When I was a child, I thought like a child. I reason like a child. But then I grew up. There exists in our culture often times the permission or the culture that says you don't need to grow up. Take as long as you'd like. But scripture says it is time a part of masculinity. It is necessary. It is important to grow up and to mature. I believe as men, we are created to bear the burden of responsibility. We'll get to exactly what that looks like in a minute. But understand this first. Masculinity is necessary from the beginning. Male and female, he created them. We each have different roles and sort of the way we are created is different, but they are both good. As a matter of fact, we see in scripture that we are created in Genesis 1 in the imo day in the image and likeness of God. As human beings, we bear that. So understand first masculinity is necessary. Secondly, and I don't want you to miss this, understand masculinity is noble. Is noble. Um I don't know if you guys watch movies, but I believe there is a factually true statement about movies. Okay? There is a greatest movie of all time. It is undoubtable. Um, it is a fact. I will take it to my grave. As a matter of fact, I watched this movie again yesterday just to remind myself of its goodness. Uh, it is the movie Top Gun. All right. Top Gun. Best movie of all time ever in the history of the world. All right. You can disagree with me, but you're wrong. All right. That's it. That's all there is to it. Here's what I know to be true about movies. It's the same with music and culture and history. What we do is we oftenimes look up to the heroic characters in these different places because we see in them something we want to see in ourselves. When I look at Tom Cruz on his motorcycle, I think, I want to be that. That's why there's a motorcycle here today. We'll get to that in a minute. I see that and I want that. And then I see the way that he handles every situation. He's cool and calm and collected and I want to be that. Understand this. This sort of heroic understanding of these characters is us wanting what we see in others. When it comes to masculinity, there is a noble aspect to this. Um it's kind of funny to joke about this, but there are certain responsibilities given to men. As we read Proverbs 5, the instruction here is to his sons, a father to his sons. And nowhere in this text do we see that the father puts all of the blame on the woman, right? He says, "Son, avoid seduction." He doesn't just go about shaming this woman, saying, "It's all her fault. You're fine, buddy. You're okay. It was her fault anyways." No, he says, "You, son. Figure it out. Avoid seduction." He goes on to talk about all of the different aspects of this because here's what will happen. the real consequences of falling into seduction. Masculinity is noble. We need heroes because if not, we will find ourselves in verse 10. Strangers draining our resources, our hard-earned pay ending up in someone else's home. And at the end of our life, we will lament when our physical body's been consumed and say these words. And I believe there's a group of people in our world today, don't miss this, that are going to say this soon. How I hated discipline and how my heart despised correction. I didn't obey my teachers or listen closely to my instructors. Understand this. We have God's instruction written for us here. And there are consequences that will exist if we do not live according to God's design for our lives. And there is a world around us that says you can be whatever you want to be and do whatever you want to do and there are no consequences. But God gives us instruction for our good. Understand masculinity is noble. I was reading through scripture this past week around this idea and was reminded of Genesis 22. In Genesis 22, there's Abraham and Isaac. It's a father and son. In verse two, or excuse me, in verse one, after these things, God tested Abraham and he said to him, Abraham, here I am, he answered. In verse two, take your son, he said, your only son Isaac whom you love, go to the land of Moriah and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about. in this text that we're walking through in Genesis 22. Here's what we find. First of all, shock value. All right, like first, give me some context around this. All right, the instruction here, God calls out to Abraham. He said, "Here I am. What do you want, God? I'm down for it. I'll do whatever you want." God says, "Take your son and go offer him as a burnt offering." Now, understand this. In Old Testament understanding, there were burnt offerings to cover the consequences of sin in order for people to be made back in right relationship with God. So that was a normal thing. Burning humans wasn't normal. Let's be clear about that, okay? But it was for animals, right? There was this blood sacrifice until Jesus became the final sacrifice. The blood that we spoke of earlier. And so there's this moment where Abraham gets this instruction from God to take his son and offer him as a burnt offering, his only son. Abraham, I'm sure, terrified, wondering, follows through with it. He begins the process. He goes to the mountain. He follows God's direction. And it's it's in this process that I'm sure Abraham has a million questions and fears and thoughts, but he follows God even still. Even when he doesn't understand what's on the other side, he still follows God. And there's this conversation where part of the way down there, Isaac said, "Uh, the fire and the wood are here, but where's the lamb?" Isaac's not dumb. He says, "Dad, we're missing the the thing that goes on there that gets burnt up." Here's what happens in this conversation. God tests Abraham. Abraham proves himself to be faithful and trustworthy. And there's this moment where towards the end they look to the right and God provides. There's a ram caught in a thicket. And it's in this little conversation where I believe we see the faithfulness, no nobility of Abraham. As we look at men today, there's maybe some misunderstandings of what men should be. that men should never have any fear and never have any questions or struggles or doubts. But understand this, Abraham followed God faithfully despite questions, despite not having all the answers. And the encouragement to us today is we can do the same thing when it comes to leading our families, when it comes to living with integrity and doing things that aren't always common in culture. We can do that because masculinity is noble and following God is worthwhile. Third thing I want you to see as we walk through this is that masculinity is nourishing. It is nourishing. One of the things at our house that we do often is we have to curb our kids propensity to eat snacks. All right? If we let them eat snacks, they would eat junk food all day and still be hungry. Right? Parents in the room are like, "Yes." Right? They would literally eat us out of house and home. Here's what I found to be true. When we limit their snacks and they eat real food and it fills them and it nourishes them, they're sustained for longer. It's for their good. All right. What I believe to be true is that masculinity is nourishing. When it is in a healthy place, when there are men and families and in workplaces that are following God well, it is good for those around them. Men are called to be leaders of their household, to serve their families, and in the workplace to be Godhonoring employees. And understand this, masculinity is nourishing. Here's what we find in Proverbs 5. In verse one, the phrase my son, in verse 7, now sons. This is a father nourishing his son, saying, I've learned some things. Let me help you. If we talk about fathers, the truth in the room today is that uh it is a mixed bag. Some of us come into this room with fathers who are great role models, who've helped us, who paved the way for us, and it's a blessing. Some of us come into the room and say, "Dad wasn't present. Dad was famous for laying on the couch and doing nothing." Understand this. When done correctly, masculinity benefits those around us. It is a blessing. There are certain roles that are uh sort of in a humorous way associated with men. One of those um it's kind of talked about recently is that in homes men should sleep on the side of the bed closest to the bedroom door. All right, you guys have heard this. All right, here's why. Because if for some reason there were an intruder into the home in the middle of the night, the husband should be on the site as closest to the door so that the attacker would first have to fend off the husband who would be drowsy and barely awake and probably not at his best anyways. And so the man has to sleep by the door. All right? And uh got to be honest with you, I don't sleep by the door. All right? You can talk to my wife about this. It's not that I don't love her. All right? It's here's what I found. More often than intruders coming into our house, there are kids that come into their house looking for mom. So, I'm like, you know what? You just you take that side. I'll go to the other side. But there's these humorous roles around masculinity. But understand this, masculinity is nourishing. When done in a healthy context, it benefits those that come after us. the next generations, future generations, our families, our workplaces, our churches are better because men act like men. Don't miss this. Proverbs 5, my son, he writes this. There's an old Greek proverb that says something to the effect of cultures and groups succeed when older men plant trees under whose shade they will never live. That is to say this, cultures and churches like ours will thrive when there are men who are committed to being a blessing to others even when they won't receive those blessings themselves, but they are serving others. They're leading others. They are nourishing others. I'll never forget uh growing up my dad taught me one of the most important lessons of my life. How to change a flat tire. Anybody else? Anybody's dad teach them? Yeah. All right. And here pretty soon my seven-year-old will be able to do it on her own. She's getting there. All right, she's learning. All right, I have flat tires often, right? So, this ends up being a consistent thing. All right. Um, but she kind of understands the principle. But I'll never forget u my dad teaching me how to change a flat tire. And there was one day I was an early teenager and uh I was riding around in a sweet older Chevy minivan, tan colored, with my mom. We were driving through Duncan, Oklahoma, where I lived at the time, through Fugquway Park when all of the sudden we had a flat tire. Mom pulls over into the stop and the instant moment happens. What are we going to do? Right? But I had a moment where I was cool, calm, and collected because I knew I was ready for this. My dad had trained me well. And this was also back in the day where you had pagers, right? So like it wasn't just like I called my dad and he could walk me through it over the phone, right? Had to page him, his whole thing, right? So, it was this whole moment where um I had to change this tire. All right. And I had no expectation that my mom would do it. I was going to do it. All right. I was prepared for this moment. So, I hop out of the van. I get the tiny little scissor jacket. I'm like, you know, they like barely work. All right. So, finally get it up. It's up and get the tire off. I get it changed. I'm about threequarters of the way done. I will never forget this moment in my entire life. Up pulls a guy who worked for the city of Duncan in the water treatment uh area. He pulled up, grown man, and he walked up and he said, "Hey, um, I was going to offer to help you, but it looks like somebody already taught you what to do." And I thought, "Yeah, he did. I was ready, right?" And it was that moment of pride. But understand this, my dad didn't do that so he got the glory. He was just nourishing the future generations. He was planting trees under whose shade he would never sit under. Understand this. We as men, young men, have to understand that we are working towards things we may not see. Invest in others. And so I believe this text then turns to walking this out. And I want to give you a few statements about how we walk out these ideas that we see here in Proverbs 5. The first thing I want you to see is that responsibility is foundational. Responsibility is foundational. In Proverbs 5, all of the blame that we spoke of earlier, all of the responsibility is placed on the sun. And if I could just be clear about this, and I don't mean this in a passing shot, in a very sensitive statement, there is a real portion and emphasis in this text that points us to the understanding that seduction existed when this was written, but it has not gone away. The temptation for seduction exists today. And it is not just in the physical world, but it is also in our pockets everywhere we go. The temptation isn't just to head to a brothel, but it's to head to a website this week. And if I could just be very clear and succinct on this, do not miss the temptation here. It is real. As a matter of fact, statistically speaking, 85% of men are trafficking themselves onto pornography online. It's a bad time to look at your neighbor. Okay? Look for it. I say that light-hearted, but don't miss this. Those numbers are no better in the church. And so, we have to be extremely diligent. This is not a maybe thing. You can go to fight thenewdrug.org. You can look at a ton of resources. There's a blessing of a website there that talks about all different kinds of things. But understand this, seduction is real, but even more so are the consequences of that seduction. Guard your hearts. Responsibility though is foundational. Men have been given by God a responsibility to work, to worship, to lead, to serve. Men throughout scripture are called to lead their homes. We talk about life being messy. family, less of the mess. Here's the reality. Not all of our pictures are the typical family. And so, some of us find ourselves in these broken spots or filling roles that were supposed to be filled by men. Hey, we have to fill the roles that are in front of us. Understand this. Do the best you can where you can. If you're a woman here and you say, "Man, I wish my husband would do more of this." Then support him and encourage him and pray for him and point him to Jesus. That is our hope today. Responsibility is foundational. And I believe that responsibility is good for us. We've been given as men a responsibility to provide for our families, to lead and support our families, and it should give us a weight of responsibility. That weight of responsibility is real and it is helpful. But we need to understand that we have a responsibility. One of the things I found to be true over the last even five years that has been a drastic shift is the way that our families are in a very interesting position if we are not careful. What we will find as parents, mothers and fathers is that if we are not intentional about our responsibilities, then YouTube will begin to disciple our kids and social media will tell our kids what their identity is. What we have to do is understand our responsibility. It is foundational. It's not optional. This responsibility has been given to us. Some of us have been given extra responsibility we weren't ready for. I get it. But don't miss this. We play a vital role in planting trees under whose shade we may never sit on. Understand that responsibility is foundational. Men need that responsibility and we have to live in those areas. Second thing that I don't want you to miss is that relegation is flawed. Our culture tells us that our m masculinity is toxic and we need to be more gentle and all these different things. God's given us some responsibilities. And understand this, you do not need to wait for permission to be who God created you to be. Don't wait for someone else to tell you it's okay to be a godly man. Don't wait for somebody else to tell you it's okay to be a godly woman. Just do it. This book, this truth is enough. And live out what this word says. You can watch a million Tik Toks that'll tell you how to be a good man, but if they don't have this, they aren't worth nothing. This is our hope. Proverbs 5 is a father writing to his son saying, "I've got vital information and I'm passing it on to you." But oftentimes, here's what's happened. We have young men who are growing up into adult men who haven't stepped into the responsibility that God's given them, who are waiting to grow up, saying, "I want to act like a child. I want to think like a child. I'm just going to be a child for as long as I can." But God's word says, "No, live into the responsibility. Lead your family. grow up and get married and have kids and do all of these good things that are God-honoring. But relegating our role to YouTube to disciple our kids or to the world to tell us what our identity is will always be a miss. Relegation is flawed. The third thing that we have to understand is that repentance is fitting. I have lived this point out even in writing it so many times. Um, I told you the juggling act that it feels like maybe men go through of being a father and a husband. And I've even put it this way to some men that there's areas of life like fitness and finances and marriage and being a parent, all these different things. It feels like as I'm balancing all of these plates that I get most of them up, but then all of a sudden I realize my work life has dropped a little bit. So, I got to get this plate back up. I got to juggle this a little bit. But when I do that, I find out that my my fitness falls and I'm not as healthy as I should be as scripture calls me to be. So, I work on getting that up and then my money drops and I got to I got to get this up. And it's this constant balancing act. Understand this. As a man, you will have to often repent and say sorry. Perfection is not the end. Progress is. I can't tell you how many times I have had to look my kids in the eyes already and say, "I'm sorry." Or to look at my wife and say, "I'm sorry. I messed that situation up. Could you forgive me?" Repentance is fitting. Because here's the truth. You are going to drop the ball on your own. You will not be able to juggle it all or spin all the plates. You will need help to do it. So understand that repentance is fitting. It leads me to a sort of a spiritual idea of cups. Um there's this idea that as men or as husbands, fathers that we pour into others what is already in our cup. Here's what we found is that our cups have oftenimes been full of junk and we pass that junk on. But the encouragement today is to have a cup full of Jesus and grace and humility and allow that to be the thing that we pass on to our families and to our co-workers and our friends and those around us. Understanding that the goal of our lives is to point people to Jesus. I'll put it to you this way. Um I've had some dreams lately about motorcycles where I'm just sitting and I'm riding the motorcycle. That's why the motorcycle is here. Okay? I'm just I'm in my dreams. I'm riding the motorcycle. I'm doing the thing. I think this is how you drive a motorcycle. I don't know. Clearly, I know exactly what I'm doing. Right. Here's the deal. Um, there's a motorcycle on stage and I think it illustrates for us a great principle. U, this motorcycle is beautiful. I actually wore my shirt today to match it because, you know, blue blue. All right. Had to, right? Um, this might be my favorite sermon prop of all time, right? Uh, this is me personally wanting a motorcycle so bad and understanding maybe someday, all right, when I have more free time and you know the whole deal. What I love about this motorcycle is it illustrates to us something spiritual. Here's what happens. This motorcycle was created for a purpose. Here's what often happens. Beautiful motorcycles like this one sit in a garage or under a cover. And here's what happens when it sits in the garage or under a cover for too long. These tires start to go flat. We haven't invented tires that stay aired up forever. I'm sure that'll happen someday. But the the tires here, they'll go flat if they don't have air added to them. If they aren't taken care of, and if it sits even longer, it's its carburetor will get full of bad gas. And then you have to take the carburetor out. You have to rebuild it, clean it out, put it back in. And even if that's not your problem, if you let it sit too long, the gas in it gets old. and then it doesn't work. And if you continue to let it sit, even the battery that's in it will go bad unless you keep it up. You have to run it every so often. All these different things. And what happens is if it just sits there, it gets dusty and the battery dies and the tires. If it doesn't do what it was created to do, it becomes a waste. And here's my fear when I read Proverbs 5 is I look at a bunch of people in our world and I'm afraid that we've got some men that are just like this motorcycle that have been created by for a purpose and that sit in a garage wasting their God-given potential. Don't miss this. You don't need to ask for permission to be the man that God's called you to be. Just go do it. Don't wait. Don't look for excuses. Don't look for someone else to do it for you. Do what God has called you to do and that'll be enough. I want to leave you with two points of application. Two things you can do today if you're a man in the room or you can support a man to do. The first is to look to the father. The best example of a father is our heavenly father who is perfect, who is without flaw, who continues to show up for us. Even when we aren't good, even when we have to repent, he is good. He is the father in the parable of the lost son who is waiting with open arms for us to repent and run back to him. Look to the father. And the second thing is to lead from the front. Men in the room today, if you want to get out of the garage, if you want to stop wasting your potential, lead from the front. If you want your family to pray more, you start praying more. If you want your family to be faithful in church, set an alarm. Get the coffee ready in the morning. Make sure the stuff's packed, there's gas in the car, and lead your family to do it from the front. Set the example. If you want to show your kids what it looks like to read their Bible, you get up early and make it a priority to read your Bible, too. That's leading from the front and that's what gives them hope. So, here's how I want to close our time together. I want to encourage everyone in the room to stand up. And as you stand up, I just want to spend a minute praying for you. We're going to sing a song in a minute called All Sufficient Merit. And as you're standing, I'm just going to take a minute to pray for the men in the room. And if you feel so inclined, if there's a man near you and you're comfortable, feel free to place a hand on his shoulder. And let's just take a minute to pray for the men in the room before we sing this song. All sufficient merit. God, we we stop right now. I want to lift up to you the men in this room. God, I pray that this room would be a group of men not afraid to be who you've called them to be. that would be men of conviction, men who plant trees that they'll never sit under the shade of, that would invest in future generations, point others to you, that would be full of humility and grace and conviction. God, I pray that this group of men wouldn't be those that are sitting in the garage wasting their purpose, but that you would give them a God-given desire to be all that you've called them to be. God, I pray that you would challenge us as men in the room, myself included, to have the conviction to be more like you on a daily basis and to lead from the front. God, we pray all this in your name. Amen. Let's sing the words of this song together. [Music] All sufficient merit shining like the sun. A fortune I inherit. By no work I have done. My righteousness I forfeit [Music] at my Savior's cross where all sufficient merit did what I could not love. [Music] Eternal now in a life without a blemish. The maker made to die. The law could never save us. Our love is not one until the pure and spotless lamb have finally come. Sing this out. It is done. It is done. It is finished. No more debt I owe. paid for all sufficient merit now my own. Oh, I lay down my guns any empty. Good works now all corrupt. by the sinful host. I'm dressed in my Lord Jesus, a crim and no more fear of judgement. His righteousness is mine. It is done. It is finished. No more debt I paid for all salvation now my own. It is done. It is done. It is finished. No. I am made it awesome. [Music] Now my you [Music] [Music] all sufficient mering for in life and death. The joy of my salvation shall be my final breath. And when I stand accepted before the throne of God, I'll gaze upon my Jesus and thank him for the cross. Yes, I'll thank him for the cross. It is done. It is no more that I hated for all sufficient [Music] I it is done. It is done. It is finished. No. I am [Music] aw. [Music] Oh, you're now my own. Oh, you're right. my own. Hey, happy Father's Day. Hope you guys have a great week. We'll say see you guys next week.