# Dating and Marriage

Sermon transcript from Cross Church El Mirage.
Series: Family
Date: May 18, 2025
Watch: https://crosschurchcares.com/el-mirage/episodes/dating-and-marriage

## Summary

Are you navigating the complexities of dating and marriage? What does it mean to honor God in our relationships? Discover how faith can transform our love stories from messy to meaningful. Join us as we explore the timeless lessons from the book of Ruth. Let's dive in together!

## Transcript

Welcome to Cross Church. My name is 
 Tyler and I serve as campus pastor right 
 here at Cross Church Elmarrage. And I 
 want to welcome you to service today. 
 Before we get started, I want to make 
 you aware of a couple of ways that you 
 can connect with us today. The first, if 
 you have a phone with you, you can send 
 a text message with the word crossurch, 
 no space, to the number 
 9400. Or if you'd like to use the cards 
 that are in the seat back in front of 
 you, we've got three cards that'll 
 direct you on ways that you can get 
 connected this week. The first is the 
 new card. If you're new to church over 
 the last few weeks. We would love to 
 connect with you. Take some time to fill 
 out that card during our service today 
 and drop it in one of the black boxes 
 and then we'll follow up with you this 
 week with some more information. The 
 next card is the next card. Take some 
 time to use that card if you're 
 interested in taking some next steps in 
 your faith journey. Things like baptism, 
 joining a group, or even serving. And 
 then lastly, and I believe most 
 importantly is the prayer card. And I 
 want to guarantee you that if you take 
 time today to fill out that prayer card, 
 all of those come to me and I get to 
 each of them individually. So, if you've 
 got things big or small going on in your 
 life, please feel free to share those 
 with us. We'd be happy to pray over 
 them. Hey, as we get prepared for some 
 God-honoring worship, I want to 
 encourage you to go into service today 
 with an expectant spirit. We know that 
 God will do big things in our midst. And 
 so, I want to encourage you to enter 
 this time with an expectant spirit. Now, 
 let's get prepared for some God. 
 Hey, good morning Christ Church. Let's 
 all stand 
 together. Let's all get ready to 
 worship. 
 [Music] 
 Let's sing together. We've 
 come We've 
 come for a move of God. We've 
 come for the Holy One. All we 
 want, all we hunger for is you. 
 [Music] 
 Now we've 
 come with expected hearts 
 undone, knowing who you are, Lord. We 
 long for what only you can 
 do. And Holy Spirit come on the 
 altar. Fresh wind blowing through it. 
 We're going to stay here until we 
 encounter you. Make us an 
 offering. Make us an upper room. We're 
 going to stay here until we encounter 
 you until we encounter 
 [Music] 
 you. Make us 
 desperate. Tear our idols down. We're 
 repentance. This is still your house. 
 Yeah. You meant it when you said you'd 
 pour your spirit out. So we sing, "Holy 
 Spirit, come out. Fire on the 
 altar. Fresh wind blowing through. We're 
 going to stay here until we encounter 
 you. Make us an offering. 
 Make us another room. We're going to 
 stay here until we encounter 
 you. Until we encounter 
 you. Until we encounter 
 [Music] 
 you. Let's sing this out together. We 
 need a move of God. 
 We need a move of 
 [Music] 
 God. We need a move of God. 
 Oh, we need a move of God. We're hungry. 
 We're desperate. Lord, 
 open. We need a move, oh God, in this 
 city. We need a move, oh God, in this 
 church. church. We need a move, oh God. 
 We're hungry. We're desperate. Lord, 
 [Music] 
 open. We need a move of God in our 
 families. We need a move of God in our 
 hearts. We need a move of God. We're 
 hungry. We're desperate. Lord, open the 
 heavens. 
 Fire on the 
 altar. Fresh wind blowing through. We're 
 going to stay here until we counter you. 
 Make us an 
 offering. Make us an upper room. We're 
 going to stay here until we counter you. 
 Fire on the 
 altar. Fresh wind blowing through. We're 
 going to stay here until we encounter 
 you. Make us an 
 offering. Make us an upper room. We're 
 going to stay here until we encounter 
 you. We need a move. Oh god. 
 Oh, we need a move. Oh god. 
 Oh, we need a move. Oh god. We're 
 hungry. We're desperate more open than 
 the 
 heaven. We need a move of God. Yes, 
 Lord. We need a move of God. 
 Oh, we need a move of God. We're hungry. 
 We're desperate. Lord open. 
 [Music] 
 [Music] 
 [Applause] 
 [Music] 
 There's peace that outlasts 
 darkness. Hope that's in the 
 blood. This future grace that's mine 
 today that Jesus Christ has 
 one so I can face tomorrow. 
 For tomorrow's in your 
 hands and all I need, you will provide. 
 Just like you always have. I'm fighting 
 a battle. I'm fighting a 
 battle. You've already won. 
 No matter what comes my 
 way, I will 
 overcome. Don't know what you're 
 doing, but I know what you've 
 done. I'm fighting a 
 battle. You've already won. 
 [Music] 
 Oh, there's mercy in the 
 waiting man of for 
 today. And when it's gone, I know you're 
 not. You are my hope and stand. 
 When the sea is 
 raging, your spirit is my 
 help. He'll fix my eyes on Jesus Christ. 
 I'll say that it is 
 well. Oh, I know that it is 
 well. 
 Oh, I'm fighting a battle. 
 [Music] 
 You've already 
 [Music] 
 won. No matter what comes far 
 away, I 
 will come. Don't know what you're 
 doing. But I know what you done. Thank 
 you, God. I'm fighting a battle. and all 
 you've already 
 won. Let's sing. I know how the story 
 ends. I know how the story 
 ends. We will be with you again. 
 [Music] 
 You're my savior, 
 [Music] 
 my no more fear in life or death. I'll 
 sing that 
 again. And I know how the story 
 ends. We will be with you. 
 We will be with you 
 again. You're my 
 savior. You're my savior. My 
 defense. No more 
 fear. No more fearing life or death. And 
 with everything we've got, let's sing 
 this out. And I know how the story 
 ends. And we will be with 
 you. We will be with you 
 again. You're my 
 [Music] 
 savior. You're my savior, my 
 deepest. No more 
 fear. No more fearing life or death. 
 I know how the story 
 [Music] 
 ends. I'm fighting a 
 battle. You've already won. 
 No matter what comes my 
 way, I will 
 overcome. Don't know what you're 
 doing, but I know what you done. Thank 
 you, God. I'm fighting a 
 battle. You've already won. 
 Oh, I'm fighting a 
 battle. You've already 
 won. 
 [Music] 
 Oh, you've already won. 
 [Music] 
 Yes, he's already won. We do not have to 
 worry about tomorrow, even though we 
 don't know what he's doing. But we can 
 always trust in him. In Christ alone, 
 our hope is 
 [Music] 
 found. Let's sing this out together. 
 In Christ 
 alone my hope is 
 found. He is my light, my strength, my 
 song, this 
 cornerstone, this solid 
 ground. Firm through the fiercest 
 drought and storm. What heights of love? 
 What depths of peace? When fears are 
 stilled, when striving cease, my 
 comforter, my all in 
 all. Here in the love of Christ, I 
 stand. 
 Oh. Oh. 
 Oh. 
 [Music] 
 Oh. 
 Oh. There in the ground his body 
 laid. Light of the world by 
 darkness slain. 
 Then bursting forth in glorious 
 day up from the grave he rose 
 [Music] 
 again. And as he stands in 
 victory since Chris has lost his grip on 
 me for I am 
 his mine. 
 But with the precious blood of Christ. 
 [Music] 
 [Music] 
 Oh, no guilt in life, no fear in death. 
 This is the power of Christ in me. From 
 life's first cry to final 
 breath, Jesus commands my destiny. 
 No power of hell, no scheme of man can 
 ever block me from his hand. Till he 
 returns or calls me 
 home. Here in the power of Christ I 
 stand. 
 [Music] 
 Oh, in Christ 
 [Music] 
 alone. I find my 
 strength. I find my hope. I find my 
 help. 
 in Christ 
 alone. When fear sails, when darkness 
 falls, I find my peace in Christ 
 alone. I give my life. I give my all. I 
 sing this song to Christ the Lord, the 
 King of 
 Kings, the Lord 
 above. All heaven sings to Christ the 
 Lord. To Christ the Lord. 
 to 
 [Music] 
 Christ to 
 [Music] 
 Christ. Awesome. Thank you for 
 worshiping with us. You can go ahead and 
 have a seat. Uh my name is Michael. We 
 are so glad you are here uh today at 
 Cross Church. I just want to run through 
 a couple things with you. Uh first is 
 our cards in the seat back in front of 
 you. Uh we have three cards there. The 
 first one is our connect card. Uh we 
 would love for you to fill it out. It's 
 your first, second, third, fourth time 
 even here at Cross Church. We want to 
 make sure we connect with you. Uh we 
 won't send you any spam. We promise. Uh 
 we just want to make sure that you're 
 here. So please make sure you fill that 
 out. Uh if you uh love the digital side 
 of things or AI, you can text also to us 
 uh crossurch all one word to 
 9400. Second card there is our next 
 card. uh for you that uh call cross 
 church your home, you feel like God is 
 stirring your heart to whatever is next 
 for you, you can fill out that card for 
 us to connect with you on that. Whether 
 it's you feel that God leading you to 
 baptism or you want to get into a Bible 
 group, uh or even you want to serve 
 somewhere, please make sure you fill out 
 that card and we will connect with you 
 there. And then the last card is our 
 prayer card, our most important card. Uh 
 we want to be a praying church that 
 lifts each other up and encourages each 
 other in the Lord. So make sure you fill 
 that out. any prayer requests you have, 
 uh we want to hear from you and we do 
 pray over those every single week. Uh so 
 please make sure uh you fill that out. 
 Uh first announcement, uh party with the 
 pastor, pizza with the pastor, sorry, is 
 it's a party, too. I guess there's pizza 
 there and a pastor's there, so it's a 
 party. Uh but right after service today, 
 uh if you have not attended pizza with 
 the pastor before, this is your 
 opportunity to come hear more about 
 Cross Church, about our miss, mission, 
 and vision. Uh so please make sure you 
 do that. We will have uh pizza for you. 
 Uh so if you did not register, we can 
 still have you a part of that. So right 
 after service today. Okay. Uh secondly, 
 uh this Wednesday is our youth night. Uh 
 so for students going into sixth grade 
 through 12th grade, uh they will come 
 hear an awesome message, have worship, 
 uh play some games, and just have a fun 
 night of fellowship with other students. 
 So please ensure uh if you know any 
 students uh that they come and they have 
 a great time just worshiping the Lord. 
 And then alongside of that, uh we have 
 our prayer night also on Wednesday. So 
 whether you have a student or not, we 
 would love for you to be here just as an 
 opportunity to pray uh together and lift 
 each other up. Uh because prayer is an 
 important part of who we are and what we 
 do. Uh so please make sure you come. 
 That's at 6:30 this Wednesday and we 
 would love to see as many people here as 
 possible. And then uh our next 
 announcement uh for those that are 
 volunteers for VBS next Sunday uh we 
 actually have a a get together meeting 
 after service to go through details, 
 logistics, all the fun stuff of that. 
 And then also for VBS, you can still 
 register. So you can go into the kids 
 building, which is the next building 
 over there, uh, and then register as 
 well. So we would love to get as many 
 kids registered as possible. Uh, I want 
 to challenge you, uh, this week, just 
 invite one kid, okay? It's all you have 
 to do. Invite one kid that you know, uh, 
 to come to VBS because we want to make 
 sure that we are giving every 
 opportunity for them to know Jesus and 
 for us to make Jesus known. So that's a 
 challenge for you all. Uh, and then 
 next, we just want to give you an 
 opportunity uh, to give as well. So, uh, 
 we we love that you are a generous 
 church and for us to have more 
 opportunities to make Jesus known. Uh, 
 so for those that do call Cross Church 
 their home, uh, this is your opportunity 
 to give. Uh, if you've already given 
 throughout the week, awesome. You can 
 take these 30 seconds just pray for our 
 service today and pray for the people 
 here. 
 [Music] 
 Well, good morning, Cross Church. If we 
 haven't met, my name is Lyall and we're 
 glad that you're here today. Uh we're 
 going to be continuing in our less of a 
 mess series. And today we're going to be 
 looking at the topic of dating and 
 marriage. So, buckle in for that one. Go 
 ahead and open up your Bibles to the 
 book of Ruth. And if you are into love 
 stories with drama and suspense, then 
 the book of Ruth is definitely for you 
 and you're going to enjoy it. Let's be 
 real, men. The book of Ruth is for the 
 ladies. So uh you know as a society we 
 are fascinated with love 
 stories. Every story, every novel, every 
 movie, every TV show has some sort of 
 romance in it. And it's because we all 
 desire to find love. We all want to be 
 loved and we all want to have that 
 picture perfect day. So take this 
 couple's story as an example. After 
 months of searching, a newly engaged 
 couple had finally found a wedding venue 
 that they can afford. It was a little 
 far away, but that was okay. It was the 
 perfect place. A cute antique home with 
 a large covered patio for the reception 
 and also a little gazebo where they 
 could have the ceremony. And to top it 
 off, the venue offered everything. The 
 catering, the DJ, the wedding cake. The 
 only thing this couple would have to 
 find is a photographer and a 
 preacher. And after months of planning, 
 the big day had finally arrived. And on 
 Saturday, May 31st, 2008, at 5:00 p.m., 
 the ceremony had begun. And if if as if 
 foreshadowing the future events of the 
 night, as a as the bride began began to 
 walk down the aisle, suddenly the music 
 was drowned out by loud 
 sirens. In all fairness, the couple was 
 made aware of the fire station that was 
 right next door. 
 But what were the odds that there would 
 be an emergency call during the 
 ceremony? The gr the br the bride 
 grinned. She smiled it and everyone kind 
 of just laughed it off. And the ceremony 
 was completed and the two were finally 
 announced husband and wife. And then 
 came the reception. It was time to 
 announce the couple. The song started to 
 play. They start walking in and the DJ 
 forgot the name of the 
 groom. No big deal, right? That happens. 
 You know, it's kind of his job, 
 though. Then came the toast. But 
 unfortunately, the best man had already 
 had a little too many refreshments 
 before he toasted, and he made a total 
 fool of himself, of the bride and of the 
 groom. And then came the first 
 dance. That actually went well. 
 But from there on out, the DJ played the 
 wrong song for every other other dance 
 until the bride finally came to tears as 
 he danced to a very inappropriate love 
 making song with her 
 father. Now angered by the tears of the 
 new bride, a few of the men took it upon 
 themselves to go and confront the DJ and 
 kick him out. The DJ called the police 
 and eventually the police showed up at 
 the 
 wedding and it's not a real wedding 
 unless the cops show up. So, 
 While visiting with with the officers, 
 the bride and the groom, they found that 
 the man who was DJing their wedding 
 wasn't even a DJ. He was the DJ's 
 roommate. The DJ had to leave early 
 because he was afraid that he was 
 overdosing. With the bride in tears, 
 they wondered, "How could this have 
 happened? This wasn't the happy wedding 
 day that they had planned for." And 
 despite all those months of planning, 
 what was supposed to be a good and 
 wonderful and beautiful day had become 
 an absolute 
 mess. And if you haven't already figured 
 it out, that was our wedding 
 day. Heather was really upset. I was 
 actually really excited. One, we got a 
 good story. Two, the wedding place gave 
 me a check for 1,500 bucks back. So, I 
 was thrilled. I was 19 years old and 
 $1,500 is a lot of money. 
 So, but like our wedding day, marriages 
 can be messy. Marriages don't always go 
 as planned. What God planned and 
 designed for good has become a mess. You 
 know, the Bara research group found that 
 35% of non-believers will experience 
 divorce or have experienced divorce. And 
 the problem is that among believers, 
 that number is the same, 35%. 
 They also found that 23% of Christians 
 have been divorced two or more 
 times. So what has happened to the 
 institution of marriage? Why has 
 something that God has created for our 
 good become such a 
 mess? Well, let's look to the book of 
 Ruth, open to chapter 
 1, and we will find the problem that 
 caused the mess. 
 And it would help if I was in Ruth, too. 
 One second here. Okay. Verse one. During 
 the time of the judges, there was a 
 famine in the land. A man left Bethlehem 
 in Judah, and his wife and two sons to 
 He left Bethlehem in Judah with his wife 
 and two sons to stay in the territory of 
 Moab for a while. The man's name was 
 Imc, and his wife's name was Naomi. The 
 names of his two sons were Malon and 
 Keion, and they were Ethites from 
 Bethlehem and Judah. They entered the 
 fields of Moab and settled there. 
 Naomi's husband Imc died and she was 
 left with her two sons. Her sons took 
 Moabitete women as their wives. One 
 named Orpa and the second was named 
 Ruth. And after they had lived in Moab 
 about 10 years, both Malon and Killion 
 also died. And Naomi was left without 
 her two children and without her 
 husband. Let's pray. 
 Lord, uh as we look at the topic of 
 dating and marriage this morning, uh we 
 just pray that we would look at your 
 word with an open heart and an open 
 mind. Uh Lord, let us recognize that you 
 know what is best for us and let us 
 trust in your ways. And Lord, despite 
 our sins, our struggles, our 
 shortcomings, let us remember the mercy, 
 the grace, and the forgiveness that is 
 found in you. It's in Jesus name we 
 pray. 
 Amen. So, how does this passage relate 
 to the problem of messy marriages? Well, 
 you can find it in the context in the 
 background of this book. If you look in 
 the beginning at in verse one, it said 
 during the time of the judges. And if 
 you know anything about the time of the 
 judges, it was a time when Israel was an 
 absolute mess. It was a time of moral 
 and spiritual decline. And if you've 
 ever read the book of Judges, you can't 
 help but get a little uncomfortable and 
 think to yourself, I can't believe that 
 some of this stuff is in the Bible. I 
 mean, there's a story about a woman 
 driving a pig through a guy's temple. I 
 mean, that's how bad it is. And how did 
 it get so bad? Well, after being led by 
 Joshua, a godly man, into the promised 
 land, within one generations, you one 
 generation, you find these words in the 
 beginning of the book. a generation rose 
 up who did not know the Lord or the 
 works he had done for Israel. And by the 
 time you get to the end of the book, the 
 last line says, "Everyone did whatever 
 seemed right to him." Whereas some of 
 the translations say, "Everyone did what 
 was right in their own 
 eyes." And that's the problem that 
 caused the mess for this family. Instead 
 of trusting God during a famine, they 
 left their land in Bethlehem and they 
 looked for refuge in the land of their 
 enemies, the Moabites. And not only 
 that, their sons took Moabites as wives, 
 even though God had commanded them not 
 to 
 intermar. Now, this family is left with 
 a major problem with the passing of 
 Naomi's husbands and two sons. There was 
 no one to carry on their family name, 
 and there was no one who could inherit 
 their land back in 
 Bethlehem. And it's all because they 
 didn't trust God's word. They didn't 
 trust God's plan. They were like 
 everyone who was around them. They did 
 what was right in their own 
 eyes. Their sin had caused a 
 mess. And that's exactly how this 
 beginning relates to our topic today. 
 Sin is the problem that has caused the 
 mess in dating and marriage. And just 
 like Israel, people like to do what is 
 right in their own eyes. 
 But because we've made it a mess doesn't 
 mean that marriage isn't a good thing. 
 God created it. Marriage was his idea. 
 In fact, he performed the first wedding 
 ceremony between Adam and 
 Eve. And to keep marriage sacred and 
 holy, God set up some rules for us to 
 follow. And these rules are for our 
 good. These rules can protect us from a 
 lot of hurt, a lot of heartache, and a 
 whole lot of 
 pain. But more often than not, what do 
 we 
 do? We break those rules. 
 One of the rules for our good is to flee 
 from sexual 
 immorality. Sexual immorality is any 
 form of sexual activity that is not with 
 your 
 spouse. And that would be everything 
 from looking at pornography to having 
 sex before you're married. 
 1 Corinthians 7:2 says, "But because 
 sexual immorality is so common, each man 
 should have sexual relations with his 
 own wife, and each woman should have 
 sexual relations with her own husband." 
 So marriage is God's solution to the 
 problem of sexual immorality. And sex is 
 good. God created it. It's for us to 
 enjoy, but it should only happen within 
 a marriage. 
 Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is to be 
 honored by all and the marriage bed kept 
 undefiled because God will judge sex the 
 sexually immoral and the 
 adulterers." And another rule for our 
 good that God created is do not commit 
 adultery. And adultery is when a married 
 person has sex with someone who is not 
 their spouse. Jesus said in Matthew 
 5:27, "You have heard that it was said, 
 do not commit adultery. But I tell you, 
 everyone who looks at a woman lustfully 
 has already committed adultery with her 
 in his 
 heart. Adultery doesn't have to just be 
 physical. It can be from our heart and 
 our 
 desires. And sexual immorality and 
 adultery, they can lead to divorce. And 
 we know that divorce has caused a lot of 
 mess in marriage. In Matthew chapter 19, 
 Jesus said, "Haven't you read that he 
 who created them in the beginning made 
 them male and female? And for this 
 reason, a man will leave his father and 
 be joined to his wife, and the two will 
 become one flesh." Therefore, what God 
 has joined together, let no one 
 separate. And I tell you, whoever 
 divorces his wife except for sexual 
 immorality and marries another commits 
 adultery. That can be a tough 
 passage. But unfortunately, it's not 
 just sexual immorality that has led to 
 divorce. Anger, abuse, addiction, 
 abandonment, unforgiveness, pride, 
 greed, selfishness, and so much more has 
 led to 
 divorce. And I want to make sure that we 
 handle the topic of a divorce with a lot 
 of 
 grace because I want everybody to know 
 that not all divorce is a result of sin. 
 You know, just because you've been 
 through a divorce, you faced a div 
 divorce, you're facing one, doesn't mean 
 that you wanted to go through 
 it. But we see that God's word stands in 
 complete contrast to what has become 
 acceptable today. Sexual immorality, 
 adultery, and divorce are all the norm. 
 And in some cases in our society, it's 
 even 
 celebrated. But it was not supposed to 
 be this way. It was never supposed to be 
 this way. 
 Sin has taken something that was good 
 and made it into a 
 mess. So, now that we've looked at the 
 problem that has caused mess, let's look 
 at the paradigm for less of a mess. And 
 I know what you're all thinking. I 
 thought this was about a love 
 story. But as we pick up back in our 
 story, the situation was dark and it was 
 hopeless for this family. We were left 
 with three widows who had no future, 
 nowhere to go. So Naomi, she decided to 
 travel back to Bethlehem. And on her 
 way, she told her two daughters, "Just 
 go back to your homes, go back to your 
 families because she was too old to give 
 them a son who could carry them and 
 carry on the name." Because during this 
 time, when a woman was widowed without a 
 son, without an heir, they practiced a 
 thing called leverit marriage. 
 Whoever was the next available male 
 family member in their line was their 
 kinsman redeemer. This redeemer would 
 marry the woman. He would inherit the 
 property. He would give her a child, a 
 male child who could carry on the name 
 of the deceased father, which would be 
 kind of weird today, guys. If you had to 
 marry like your what would that be 
 sister-in-law? I guess it would be. So 
 Orpa, she left, but Ruth would not leave 
 Naomi. Look at chapter 1 and starting in 
 verse 15 with me. Naomi said, "Look, 
 your sister-in-law has gone back to her 
 people and to her gods. Follow your 
 sister-in-law." But Ruth replied, "Don't 
 plead with me to abandon you or to 
 return and not follow you. For wherever 
 you go, I will go, and wherever you 
 live, I will live. Your people will be 
 my people, and your God will be my God. 
 Wherever you die, I will die." and there 
 I will be buried. And may the Lord 
 punish me and do so so severely if 
 anything but death separates you and me. 
 So Ruth, she traveled back to Bethlehem 
 with 
 Naomi. And this is where the love story 
 begins, not knowing that she was about 
 to meet the love of her life. Let's 
 continue reading in chapter 2, starting 
 in verse one. 
 Now Naomi had a relative on her 
 husband's side. He was a prominent man 
 of noble character from Immac's family. 
 His name was Boaz. Ruth the Moabitis 
 asked Naomi, "Will you let me go into 
 the fields and gather fallen grain 
 behind someone with whom I find favor?" 
 Naomi answered her, "Go ahead, my 
 daughter." So Ruth left and entered the 
 field to gather grain behind the 
 harvesters. 
 She happened to be in the portion of the 
 field belonging to Boaz who is who was 
 from a Limc's family. Later when Boaz 
 arrived from Bethlehem, he said to the 
 harvesters, "The Lord be with you. The 
 Lord bless you," they replied. And Boaz 
 asked his servant who was in charge of 
 the 
 harvesters, "Who's this lady? Who's this 
 woman?" 
 The servant answered, "She is a young 
 Moabitete woman who returned with Naomi 
 from the territory of Moab. She asked, 
 "Will you let me gather fallen grain 
 among the bundles behind the harvesters? 
 She came and has been on her feet since 
 early morning, except that she rested a 
 little in the shelter." Then Boaz said 
 to Ruth, "Listen, my daughter, don't go 
 and gather grain in another field, and 
 don't leave this one, but stay here 
 close to my female servants. see which 
 field they are harvesting and follow 
 them. And haven't I ordered the young 
 men not to touch you? When you are 
 thirsty, go and drink from the jars the 
 young men have filled." She fell face 
 down, bowed to the ground, and said to 
 him, "Why have I found favor with you, 
 so that you notice me, although I am a 
 foreigner?" And Boaz answered her, 
 "Everything you have done for your 
 mother-in-law since your husband's death 
 has been fully reported to me. how you 
 left your father and mother and your 
 native land and how you came to a people 
 you didn't previously know. May the Lord 
 reward you for what you have done and 
 may you receive a full reward from the 
 Lord God of Israel who under whose wings 
 you have come for refuge. My lord, she 
 said, I have found favor with you, for 
 you have comforted and encouraged your 
 servant, although I am not like one of 
 your female servants. And at meal time, 
 Boaz told 
 her, "Hey, come over here and have some 
 bread and dip it in the vinegar 
 sauce." Guys, we've been wrong this 
 whole time. Wrong pickup 
 lines. I didn't know it was that easy. 
 Come have some bread and some vinegar 
 sauce with me, 
 babe. So, she sat beside the harvesters 
 and she offered and he offered her 
 roasted grain. She ate and was satisfied 
 and had some left 
 over. Well, at a time when everyone in 
 Israel was doing what was right in their 
 own eyes, we find two 
 people who are doing what is right in 
 God's eyes. And that's the paradigm to 
 have less of a mess, to do what is right 
 in the Lord's eyes. And a paradigm means 
 model or example. and Ruth and Boaz. 
 They give us the perfect example of what 
 it looks like to honor God and to live a 
 life that would honor God. Think about 
 the qualities that these two displayed. 
 Ruth was a woman of faith. Despite 
 losing her husband, she still followed 
 the Lord. She could have become bitter. 
 She could have turned away from God. But 
 she remained faithful. 
 She was willing to leave her world 
 behind, travel to a homeland that she 
 didn't know into a place where she 
 wouldn't even be welcomed because she 
 was a 
 Moabitete. She could have stayed in 
 Moab. She could have found a new 
 husband. She could have pursued a life 
 that she wanted to. But instead, she 
 decided to take care of Naomi and proi 
 provide for her needs. She was humble. 
 She worked a job that was meant for the 
 poor. If you were walking behind 
 harvesters and picking up grain, you had 
 nothing going for 
 you. And she worked hard. And despite 
 her circumstances, she showed kindness, 
 compassion, 
 love, 
 faithfulness, and commitment, and 
 loyalty. And Boaz, he was a man of 
 faith, a man of noble character. He was 
 a provider. He made sure that Naomi had 
 plenty of grain to sustain 
 her. He was a protector. He made sure 
 that Ruth was safe from any harm or 
 harassment. Guys, that's what a real man 
 is. He was a comforter. He was an 
 encourager. He didn't care that Ruth was 
 a poor Moabitete widow. He looked at 
 what was on the inside. He saw that she 
 was faithful and that she cared about 
 others, that she cared about his family. 
 And he recognized that she was a woman 
 of faith who had taken refuge in the 
 same God that he 
 followed. And both of them put the needs 
 of others before their own. They weren't 
 selfish. They modeled the qualities of 
 what a husband and a wife should show in 
 their 
 marriage. And if you're dating, these 
 are the qualities that you should be 
 looking for in your future spouse. 
 And these qualities are a lot different 
 than than what the world tells us to 
 look for, isn't it? What does the world 
 tell us to look for? Appearance, how 
 much money they have, their career, 
 their 
 success, their 
 accomplishments, what can this other 
 person do for you? Can they provide 
 happiness for 
 you? And if these two had uh ancient 
 neareaster dating profiles, I don't know 
 what that would be. ancient near 
 eastmingle.com. By the world's 
 standards, they wouldn't even have been 
 a 
 match. But what brought them together, 
 pay attention, what brought them 
 together was their 
 faith. And it was their faith and their 
 desire to follow the Lord that produced 
 the fruit that we see in their lives. 
 And one in interesting thing about the 
 story, both of them were not looking for 
 a 
 spouse. They were focused on honoring 
 God and they were focused on the needs 
 of others. And God providentially 
 brought them 
 together. In verse two, it said, "Ruth 
 just happened to be in the field that 
 belonged to Boaz." Just happened. 
 Nothing happens by 
 accident. So if you want to follow the 
 paradigm to have less of the mess, then 
 you need to focus on your relationship 
 with God. You need to focus on the needs 
 of others, on your spouse, maybe on 
 those that you were dating, and God will 
 take care of the 
 rest. And you know, there's some 
 practical ways that you can you can do 
 that. There's some steps that you can 
 take. The very first step that that you 
 need to do is that you need to have a 
 relationship with the Lord because only 
 he can give you a heart that wants to 
 desire his 
 ways. The next step would be to read 
 God's word. So pick up your Bibles, read 
 it, believe it, put it into practice. 
 And just like Pastor Tyler said last 
 week, if we want to have less of the 
 mess, we need to look to 
 the All right, three people listened 
 last week. That's good, not 
 bad. And another thing you can do is you 
 can spend some time in prayer. Pray that 
 you would live a life that would honor 
 God. Pray that God would equip you to be 
 the husband and the wife that you need 
 to be. And if you're single, be praying 
 for your future 
 spouse, for the man or the woman that 
 one day will be your husband or your 
 wife. And just so you know, you can put 
 all of these into practice, but that 
 doesn't mean that you're not going to 
 experience the mess from time to time. 
 You know, no marriage is perfect. and 
 all those wonderful Instagram marriages 
 that you 
 see. They're not going to post about 
 their fights and their 
 arguments. They're not going to post 
 about how they just argued about where 
 to eat on their date night and then they 
 not talk to each other the rest of the 
 night because it was awkward after 
 fighting. Not that I've ever been a part 
 of 
 that. But take my marriage for example. 
 Take me for example. I think I'll leave 
 Heather out of this so I don't get in 
 trouble. 
 Um, I've done a lot of really dumb 
 things. I've said a lot of really dumb 
 things. I've hurt my wife. I've made her 
 cry a lot more than I really want to 
 admit. One time I made her cry because I 
 got mad at her for throwing me a 
 surprise 30th birthday 
 party. Like, who who gets mad about 
 that? A sinner does. A sinner does. 
 And that's why marriages can be messy. 
 We have two sinful people that are 
 brought together into something that is 
 good and something that is holy. But 
 when we focus on living a life that 
 honors God like Ruth and Boaz did, we 
 can be the paradigm for less of the 
 mess. 
 So, now that we've looked at the 
 paradigm to have less of a mess, let's 
 look at the picture that solved the 
 mess. Excuse 
 me. Well, before Ruth met 
 Boaz, there was no hope for their 
 situation. Their husbands were gone. 
 They were dead. And there was no one 
 that could continue on their family's 
 name. And no one who could go back to 
 the land and inherit their land. And 
 there was no one who could provide or 
 protect 
 them. Their lives were in a complete 
 mess. But now there was hope. Boaz was a 
 close 
 relative. He could be the kinsman 
 redeemer. He could get he could redeem 
 their family's land. He could marry 
 Ruth. He could give her a son. and that 
 son could pass on the family name and 
 that son could inherit the land. They 
 could finally find a solution to solve 
 their 
 mess. So Naomi and Ruth come up with a 
 plan that night. Ruth would go to Boaz 
 and ask him to be her kinsman 
 redeemer. She was going to ask 
 Boaz to marry her. a 
 little different, 
 right? But would Boaz be willing to do 
 so? Look at chapter 3, starting in verse 
 8. Ruth chapter 3, starting in verse 
 8. At midnight, Boaz was startled. He 
 turned over and there lying at his feet 
 was a woman. So he asked, "Who are you?" 
 "I am Ruth, your servant," she replied. 
 Take me under your wing, for you are a 
 family 
 redeemer. Then he said, "May the Lord 
 bless you, my daughter. You have shown 
 more kindness now than before, because 
 you have not pursued younger men, 
 whether rich or poor. Now don't be 
 afraid, my daughter. I will do for you 
 whatever you say, since all the people 
 in my town know that you are a woman of 
 noble character. Yes, it is true. I am a 
 family redeemer." 
 But there is a redeemer closer than I 
 am. Stay here tonight and in the 
 morning. If he wants to redeem you, 
 that's good. Let him redeem you. But if 
 he doesn't want to redeem you, as the 
 Lord 
 lives, I 
 will. And like every good love story, 
 there has to be some drama and suspense. 
 Right now, what is Boaz Boaz going to 
 redeem her? Or is it going to be this 
 other guy? We have no even no idea 
 about. We haven't even heard about him 
 in this story. You know, he could be a 
 jerk for all we 
 know. Who knows? But what we do know is 
 Boaz wants to marry Ruth. He obviously 
 loved her. He displayed it with his 
 actions toward her. There was some 
 chemistry between the two of them at 
 harvest 
 time. And now Boaz knew that Ruth also 
 wanted to marry him. But there's a 
 problem. 
 Boaz is not the next in 
 line. There was technically a man who 
 had first dibs on their 
 inheritance. But because Boaz was a man 
 of noble 
 character, of course, what? He did the 
 right 
 thing. The next day, he offered the 
 other man the chance to redeem the 
 land. And you know what 
 happened? He said, "Never 
 mind. Ah, we'll find out next Sunday. 
 No, he actually said, "I will redeem 
 it." And how can this be? Ruth and Boaz, 
 they love each other. That's not how the 
 story is supposed to go. They're 
 supposed to get married. That's how it's 
 supposed to work. But like every good 
 love story, there's always a 
 twist. Now, let's look at chapter 4:5 to 
 find out what 
 happens. Chapter 4, verse 5. Then Boaz 
 said, "On the day you buy the field from 
 Naomi, you will acquire Ruth, the 
 Moabitis, the wife of the deceased man, 
 to perpetuate the man's name on his 
 property." The redeemer replied, "I 
 can't redeem it myself or I will ruin my 
 own inheritance. Take my right of 
 redemption because I can't redeem it." 
 At an earlier period in Israel, a man 
 removed his sandal and he gave it to the 
 other party in order to make any matter 
 legally binding concerning the right of 
 redemption or the exchange of property. 
 This was a method of legally binding a 
 transaction in Israel. So the redeemer 
 removed his sandal and said to Boaz, 
 "Buy back the property yourself." Which 
 is a weird way to have a 
 handshake or I guess you would call it a 
 footshake. 
 Boaz said, this is verse N. Boaz said to 
 the elders and all the people, "You are 
 my witnesses today that I am buying from 
 Naomi everything that belonged to IMC, 
 Keion, and Malon. I have also acquired 
 Ruth the Moabitis, Malon's widow, as my 
 wife to perpetuate the deceased man's 
 name on his property, so that his name 
 will not disappear among his relatives 
 or from the gate or his hometown. You 
 are my witnesses. Skip down to 
 13. Boaz took Ruth and she became his 
 wife. He slept with her and the Lord 
 granted conception to her and she gave 
 birth to a 
 son. The women said to Naomi, 
 "Blessed be the Lord who has not left 
 you without a family. Redeemer today. 
 May his name become well known in 
 Israel. He will renew your life and 
 sustain you in your old age. Indeed, 
 your daughter-in-law who loves you is 
 better than seven sons, has given birth 
 to 
 him. Naomi took the child, placed him on 
 her lap, and became his nanny. The 
 neighbor women said, "A son has been 
 born to Naomi." And they named him Oed. 
 He was the father of Jesse, the father 
 of David. Is that not a great ending to 
 this story? 
 We see a beautiful picture of 
 redemption. A picture that solved their 
 mess. A dark and a hopeless situation 
 now has a solution. And no longer was 
 Ruth a widow without a future. She was 
 redeemed and a married woman. And from 
 that marriage came a son named Oed. And 
 from Oed came Jesse. And from Jesse came 
 David. and from the line of King David 
 would become the savior of the world, 
 Jesus Christ, who came to redeem us from 
 the mess of our 
 sins. And just like this story, Jesus 
 offers a beautiful picture of redemption 
 to all of 
 you. And now that we've come to the end 
 of the story, I want to leave you with 
 this key thought. 
 Sin has made a 
 mess, but Jesus has made a 
 solution. Where sin has made a mess, 
 Jesus offers all of 
 us a beautiful solution. 
 And today, if you feel like you are in 
 that mess, if you feel like you're in 
 that hopeless situation, if you have 
 struggled with God's design for 
 marriage, if you've committed sins that 
 have made dating and marriage a mess, if 
 you've been living a life that doesn't 
 honor God, and if you've been doing what 
 is right in your own eyes, there is a 
 solution 
 today. Like Boaz, Jesus is our kinsman 
 redeemer. And since he was the only one 
 without sin, he could pay our redemption 
 price. 
 So Jesus was delivered upon the cross to 
 pay for our sins so that we could be 
 forgiven. And he was raised from the 
 dead so that we could stand before him 
 as as we just as we had never 
 sinned and not because of anything that 
 we have done but because of his loving 
 grace and mercy. 
 And so as we prepare uh to worship 
 during the this next song, you can stay 
 seated, you can stand, but I want to 
 challenge you to take some action steps 
 today. If you don't know Jesus as 
 savior, today is the day of salvation. 
 Go before him, confess your 
 sins. And the Bible says that if we 
 confess with our mouth that Jesus is 
 Lord and we believe in our heart that 
 God raised him from the dead, you will 
 be saved. you will be redeemed. You'll 
 begin to start to live that new life 
 that can honor 
 God. And if you are a believer, but 
 you've struggled with some of these 
 sins, if there's sins in your 
 relationships, in your marriage, take 
 the time to confess them to the Lord. 
 The Bible says that if we confess our 
 sins to him, he is faithful and he is 
 righteous to forgive us of all of our 
 sins and cleanse us of all our 
 unrighteousness. That's the beautiful 
 thing. You don't have to stay in your 
 sin. you can do something about it 
 today. Trust in God's 
 ways and live a life that honors 
 him. Let's 
 [Music] 
 pray. Lord, thank you uh for being the 
 solution to our sin. 
 Thank you, Lord, that your redemption is 
 not based on anything that we have 
 done, but we are justified freely by 
 your grace, Lord, and that we can come 
 and that we can take refuge in 
 you. And Lord, we discuss some tough 
 topics today. And I pray for those in 
 the room that are hurting, that are 
 broken, that you will comfort them, 
 Lord. Lord, I pray that they can find 
 comfort in your mercy, in your grace, 
 and in your salvation. 
 And I pray that you will give us the 
 strength to follow, trust, and obey your 
 ways and not ours. So that Lord, we can 
 have less of the 
 mess. Amen. 
 [Music] 
 All 
 sufficient 
 merit shining like the 
 sun. A fortune I 
 inherit. By no work I have done. 
 My 
 righteousness I pour 
 it and my Savior's 
 cross where all 
 sufficient 
 bearing did what I could 
 find in Love bees descended 
 eternal 
 now. A life without a 
 blessish the maker made to 
 die. The law could never save us. Our 
 love is set 
 on until the 
 [Music] 
 purest lamb have finally come. Let's 
 sing it out together. It is 
 done. It is 
 done. It is 
 finished. No more dead 
 I hated for. 
 All 
 sufficient bearing now by you. 
 [Music] 
 I lay down my 
 corners 
 of the works now 
 corrupted by the sinful 
 host. I'm dressed in my Lord Jesus. 
 My prison 
 ro and no more fear of 
 judgement. His 
 righteousness is 
 mine. It is 
 done. It is finished. 
 For that 
 I 
 hated all our 
 salvation now my own. It is done. It is 
 done. 
 It 
 is 
 my 
 own. It 
 is our sal. 
 [Music] 
 [Music] 
 All 
 sufficient 
 merit, firm in life and 
 death. The joy of my 
 salvation shall be my final breath. 
 And when I stand 
 accepted before the throne of 
 God, I'll gaze upon my 
 Jesus and thank him for the 
 cross. Yes, I'll beg him for the 
 cross. 
 Oh, it is done. 
 It 
 is 
 [Music] 
 no 
 [Music] 
 sufficient my own. It is done. It is 
 done. It 
 is my dead. 
 [Music] 
 All 
 [Music] 
 sal. Hey, thank you guys so much for 
 joining us today. Hope you guys have a 
 great week. We will see you guys next 
 week. 
 [Music]