# Church Hurt Sermon transcript from Cross Church El Mirage. Series: Rooted in Holiness Date: June 29, 2025 Watch: https://crosschurchcares.com/el-mirage/episodes/church-hurt ## Summary Have you ever felt the sting of church hurt? What if the pain you’ve experienced is more common than you think? Discover how to navigate these wounds without losing your faith. Let’s dive in together! ## Transcript Welcome to Cross Church. My name's Tyler and I serve as campus pastor right here at Cross Church Elmarrage. And I want to welcome you to service today. Before we get started, I want to make you aware of a couple of ways that you can connect with us today. The first, if you have a phone with you, you can send a text message with the word crossurch, no space to the number 9400. Or if you'd like to use the cards that are in the seat back in front of you. We've got three cards that'll direct you on ways that you can be connected this week. The first is the new card. If you're new to Cross Church over the last few weeks, we would love to connect with you. Take some time to fill out that card during our service today. one of the black boxes and then we'll follow up with you this week with some more information. The next card is the next card. Take some time to use that card if you're interested in taking some next steps in your faith journey, things like baptism, joining a group, or even serving. And then lastly, and I believe most importantly, is the prayer card. And I want to guarantee you that if you take time today to fill out that prayer card, all of those come to me and I get to pray over each of them individually. So, if you've got things big or small going on in your life, please feel free to share those with us. We'd be happy to pray over them. Hey, as we get prepared for some God-honoring worship, I want to encourage you to go into service today with an expectant spirit. We know that God will do big things in our midst. And so, I want to encourage you to enter this time with an expectant spirit. Now, let's get prepared for some God on Hey, good morning everyone. Let's all stand together. Let's all get ready to worship our big God. He is so faithful. He's so good to us. Sing together. You've been good. You've been good. Good for all my life. Nothing could ever change my mind. You never break a promise. You c it in all you do. Yours is the way, the truth, the life that I will choose. Oh, I know that. I know you will never let me go, every low, every high. You are faithful all the time. I taste it and I see you've been so so good to me. God, I know that I know faithful the time. Oh, thankful. Oh, I won't look to the left or right. I will keep heaven in my sight. And know I will not be shaking and nothing is moving me. I've got a faith for sure. Things I cannot see. Oh, I know that. I know you will never let me go. Every road, every eye. You are faithful all the time. I tasted and I see. You've been so so good to me. God, I know that. I know you're faithful all the time. Oh, you're faithful all the time. Oh, I won't stand on word of man. God, I stand on yours instead. All of my hope, all of my faith, all of it is in your name. And the world cannot deny all that you've done in my life. All of my days, all of my praise, all to live Jesus. Sing that again. I won't stand on word of man. God, I stand on yours instead. All of my hope, all of my faith, all of it is in your name. And the world cannot deny all that you've done in my life. All of my days, all of my praise, ought to live Jesus name. All of my days, all of my praise, ought to live Jesus name. Oh, I know that. And I know you won't never let me go. Every low, every high, you are faithful all the time. Oh, I know that. I know you will never let me go. Every low, every high, you are faithful all the time. tasted and I see you've been so so good to me. But I know that I know you're faithful all the time. Oh, you're faithful all the time. Oh, you're faithful all the time. Oh, faithful all the time. Oh, he's faithful all the time. Yeah. Let's give our God some praise. Come all you we come all you thirsty. Come to the well that never runs dry. Drink of the water. Come and thirst no more. Come for you sinners. Come find his mercy. Come to the table. He will satisfy. Taste of his goodness. Find what you're looking for. God so loved the world that he gave us is one and only son to save us whoever we sing will live forever. Bring all your failures. Bring your addictions. Come lay them down at the foot of the cross. Jesus is waiting there with open arms. See his open arms for God so loved the world. God he gave us his one and only son to save us. Whoever believes will live forever. The power of hell forever. Now it is well I'm walking in freedom for God so love God so love the world. Praise God. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him. Praise him for the wonders of his love. Praise God. Praise God from whom all bless his flow. Praise him. Praise him for the wonders of his love. For his amazing love. For God so loved the world that he gave us is one and all. Son to save. For God so love the world that he gave us is one and son to save us. You ever live forever and forever the power of hell forever to be now in Israel. I'm walking in freedom. For God so love God so loved the world. All your failures bring your addictions. Come lay them down at the foot of the cross. Jesus is waiting. God so loved the world. Father of kindness, you have poured our grace. Brought me out of darkness. You have filled me with peace. Give her mercy on my own in time of need. Lord, I can't help but see you are faithful forever. You will be faithful. You are all your promises. Yes. Take all your promises. Yes. Take Beautiful Savior, you have brought me near. You pulled me from the ashes. broken of the curse. Bless you. You are Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. You are. All your promises are destinated. All your promises are destinated. You're faithful. You're faithful to us. You've never felt our rest. Promisees our confidence. It's your faithfulness. I will rest. Your promise is my confidence. Is your faithfulness. I rest. Your promise is my confidence. Is your faithfulness. I will promise my confidence is you. You are all your Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Well, good morning, Christ Church. Thank you for worshiping with us this morning and we're so glad you're here. We would love to connect with you. But one way that we can do that is by grabbing one of these three cards on the seat back in front of you. So, if you're new or if it's your first time, go ahead and grab one of those new cards and get it filled out. Or maybe you've been with us for a little while now and you're ready for that next step. Maybe to join a group or get an area get plugged in an area to serve, then grab one of those next cards. Or if you have a prayer request, we would love to pray with you. So, please fill out one of those prayer requests. And once you fill these out, you can go ahead and drop them off in one of the give boxes there in the back. If you're watching online, we just want to say good morning, welcome. We're glad you're here with us. You can connect with us by texting crossurch all one word, to 9400. Well, we have a couple announcements for you. On July 13th is going to be our next summer Sunday. So, make sure you come out. It's a fun event. It's a great way to meet other families here across church. And it's a great way for your kids to cool off. There'll be water slides for the kids. We'll also have like a refreshing cool treat for everybody else as well. So, make sure you join us after both services on July 13th. And then also on July 13th, we're going to be having baptism. So, if you've put your faith in Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, we are ready to celebrate with you. So, let us know. Or if you just want to go ahead and have a couple questions about baptism, we'd love to start that conversation with you as well. So, you can go to crosschurchcares.com/events to register. Or you can grab that next card, write baptism on the blank slot and drop it in one of the give boxes as well. Well, today our fourth through sixth graders are getting ready to leave for camp. So, I'm super excited to get rid of a kid. But another one just came back. So, but if you have a kid going to camp, make sure you take them over to our surprise campus at 12:30 and drop them off there. And church, do us a favor this week. Pray for the leaders. Pray for all those kids. Pray that God would do something amazing in their life. And speaking of camp, our students just got back from Zona Camp in California. Man, yeah, they had an awesome time. They worshiped together. They were in the word together. They got to take apologetic and faith-based classes as well. You know, I asked my son what his favorite thing about camp was, hoping he'd say all the worship, the messages. He said the food. So, you know, but they had a good time and they ended their trip on Huntington Beach. And it was so funny because he sent us a picture and it was cloudy and it looked cold and he told us that he wish he had a he had a jacket and we're over here just on fire in the sun. So, we were we were a little jealous, but we just want to say thank you because it's because of your generosity that we're able to do events like camp and to just make Jesus known in our community here. So, we just want to give you an opportunity to give and just go before the Lord and just thank him for all that he's done. So, in the next 30 seconds, let's do that together. And on the screen will be a few ways that you can give. Well, good morning. How you doing today? Hey, if you don't know me, my name's Pastor Jackie. I'm the lead pastor of this collective of churches we call Cross Church, and I'm filling in uh for Pastor Tyler today. It seems like there's a theme. Uh he's at the beach also. And so, uh we are the true spiritual ones. We are the faithful ones that are here in the middle of the Arizona heat with no beach. Uh I do have some beachfront property in Arizona I'd like to sell you though if you're interested. Hey, if you have your Bible, open it to 2 Corinthians, uh chapter 1 and two is where we'll be at today. We're in this series that we started last week called Rooted in Holiness, uh studying through uh the book of second Corinthians. And uh today I want to address a particular topic that is actually uh seems to be more relevant. I hear it talked about more now than any other time uh since I've been pastoring and I've been a pastor for 40 plus years now. It's the topic of church hurt. You ever heard that phrase? That topic? Many people experiencing it. Some of you may be here today because you've been hurt in a church situation or you've uh you're waiting to get hurt here and you just are on pins and needles because you've been hurt before and you wonder if it'll happen again. Uh if you do a Google search of that phrase of that topic, you'll find uh tons of stories and articles about it. Uh one definition is that it is the emotional, mental, spiritual or sometimes unfortunately even physical pain and trauma experienced by individuals within a church setting. One person described it this way. It's like being stabbed in the back while the person holding the knife is looking you straight in the eyes. However, when we go to second Corinthians 1 and2, we're going to see that what we think is a brand new thing isn't new at all. It's been around since the first century. Don't you love how every generation thinks we've created something new, like we created a new way to sin. No, you didn't. It's been around for a long, long time. And so has been this issue of church hurt. I want to give you a key thought to get us started today. Don't let church hurt affect your Christlike holiness. We're in this series rooted in holiness. And no matter what has happened in your life, or maybe we'll be prophetic and talk about what may happen one day in your future, don't let those negative things affect the positive thing of your Christlike holiness. Well, let let's start by talking about what's the source of this hurt. Paul really addresses that in chapter 2 verse one. In fact, I made up my mind about this. I would not come to you on another painful visit. For if I cause you pain, then who will cheer who will cheer me other than the one being hurt by me? Sound like church hurt? Uh I wrote this very thing so that when I came, I wouldn't have pain from those who ought to give me joy because I'm confident about all of you that my joy will always be yours. For I wrote to you with many tears, out of an extremely troubled and anguish anguished heart, not to cause you pain, but that you should have the abundant love I have for you. Uh what's the source? I mean, there's a lot of words here about hurt and pain and tears. What is the source of hurt here? Well, if you look at you kind of pan out of this passage and see it from a historical perspective, you'll see that the Corinthian church was upset because Paul hadn't made good on a promised visit to them. Now, Paul visited, historians tell us he visited the Corinthian church three times. He visited first when he founded the church. Uh he stayed there 18 months. I did the math this morning. uh this church about 18 months old, a little more, a little less. Uh that's about the how long Paul stayed at Corenth the first time and still before he went to the beach in Florida. All right. Like Tyler. Um and then he made a second visit. Uh it was a short visit referred to often as the painful visit. uh there was stuff going on in the church he needed to address and he went there and he he he he came with a a great deal of of angst. And then there was a third visit and they historians tell us he he stayed there about three months but between the second and the third visit Paul writes this letter second Corinthians because they're upset that the third visit hasn't come soon enough and they're beginning to think that he might not come at all. Now when we think about church hurt, I want you to understand that that hurt inside the church can run in in two directions. First of all, we think about church hurt. People in the chairs most often think about uh the hurt that leoty people feel. People that are members or attenders of the church feel because they've been disappointed by a leader or by another person in the church. And we think of it as uh the hurt that leoty experience. And unfortunately, I recognize that that in a crowd this size, there are people that possibly have been hurt, either disappointed or uh maybe spiritually abused, God forbid, some people even physically abused inside a church. And you have our prayers and condolences for that. But there's also another side of church hurt that sometimes people in the chairs don't think about as often, but it's the the side where leaders, not leoty, but leaders can be hurt. You serve a church, you pastor a church, and and people you I I say to everybody coming to work in the life of the church, you just know you see the good, the bad, and the ugly. You see people at the very best, and the very worst. And sometimes people in their pain will reach out and and latch out, lash out to you and hurt you. In my new ministry, I don't preach every Sunday now. I spent a lot of time traveling the US and helping start churches in the West, but also interacting with pastors all over the country. And I can tell you there are a lot of pastors that are hurting because of bad experiences in a local church. It's just the honest answer. Um I take my own experience uh I've I've served cross church now it'll be I'm working on the 13th year and uh when we came to cross church it was one campus there over in the very west part of Surprise and we had about 200 people. Today about 1,500 people will worship at Cross Church across four campuses here. And in addition to that, there are three campuses internationally. And we're thinking about starting and we will start two more campuses in 2026. And you think, man, woohoo, that's all great. Everything's good. But can I tell you the thing that keeps me up at night are the faces of the people that have left our church. Isn't that terrible? like all these people have come, but all I can think about are those that have left because pastors like to be liked by people. When people get mad or upset and then they post all their wonderful experiences on Facebook and Twitter and and Instagram, it's like, "Oh, I love my new church." I'm like, "Oh, I" and it causes angst. Now, if you're a pastor uh hearing this this morning, either in person or online, to I I I want to remind you that that none of our s suffering in the in the church has probably any at any time uh elevated to the point of the suffering that Jesus took to create the church. Lest you be impaled on a cross outside your building, uh you've not experienced the suffering that Jesus did. And Jesus even predicted that you would suffer when he said, "Count it all uh blessings and and and honor when people say terrible things about you and you're persecuted and and people say false things against you for my name's sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." He said that in his first sermon, the sermon on the mount. But the source of their hurt specifically back to Corinthians is that they had a leader who had changed plans. Now many times at the center of modern day church hurt when it's not deep like terrible like offensive physical and abusive type of hurt when it's emotional. It's many times centered if we were honest around the leader changing plans. Oh, this is my home church. They don't sing the same songs they used to sing. Or the worship service isn't in the same order or the same times or the ministry focus has shifted. It used to be a disciplehip-driven church. Now it's a evangelistic driven church or or the opposite or the strategy or the structure or some of the staff have changed. Let me give you two principles about planning that'll help you out at this point. Number one, always plan in prayer, but also always plan in p in pencil. Amen. Always plan with prayer, but always plan in pencil. James told us that in James chapter 4 verse 15 says instead you should say if the Lord wills we will live and do this or that. So you have to plan in pencil because plans change. If I told you all of the things that have changed at Cross Church in the last 13 years, you wouldn't believe it. I mean, first of all, it wasn't even called Cross Church 13 years ago. It was a completely different name. It had one location. And the building they worshiped with in at that one location isn't the same building that they worship in at that current location. And now more than that, there are four locations and and three overseas. And there's going to be two more next in 2026. It has changed d t tremendously. And sometimes I like to just be kind of evil and let's just change stuff for no reason is to get people upset more. I heard this quote at a conference years ago and I wrote it down. It said the first right of the leader is the right to change his or her mind. And I change my mind a lot. My best idea a year ago is not my best idea today. I didn't put it in your notes, but you ought to write it down. Our plans change, but God's promises don't. But we should still have plans. Somebody said, "Plan like it all depends on you. Pray like it all depends on God." And know at the end of the day, it all depends upon God. So here in the heart of the issue in second Corinthians is Paul planned on going to Corenth. And yet providentially and practically those plans change. But the result of this, here's the issue. The result of these changing plans is that the heart of all of this church hurt is the people lost trust in Paul. Right or wrong? When we lose trust in people, whether it be the leader or fellow members of the church, it hurts us. So in this passage, what Paul is doing, he's attempting to rebuild and regain trust. Here's a key thought. Organizations, families, and churches move at the speed of trust. If I don't trust you, I can't follow you. If I don't trust you, I can't invest my my life and ministry in what you're investing in. And and we lose trust. We have broken trust for all sorts of different reasons. And fortunately uh there is moral failures that cause a broken trust because leaders sometimes fail. And if you haven't experienced a moral failure in a leader, it's just because you haven't lived long enough. Because eventually you will because all leaders are what? human, they're going to mess up. I'm going to mess up. Uh sometimes it is a management failure. Maybe we did something and it it was had a negative effect on the church. That change had a negative effect on the church. We didn't intend for it to have a negative effect, but it did. It was a management failure. And if we live long enough, we will experience all of those. But the challenge is to not let your hurt negatively affect your holiness. So what's the answer? That's the second point. The solution for their hurt. Go back to chapter 1 verse 12. It says, "Indeed, this is our boast. The testimony of our consciences that we have conducted ourselves in the world and especially toward you with godly sincerity and purity, not by human wisdom, but by God's grace. For we are writing nothing to you other than that we can read and also understand. I hope you will understand completely just as you have partially understood us that you are our reason for pride just as you al that we are your your reason for pride. Excuse me. Just as you also are ours. How do you guard your heart in such a way so that you can survive and thrive in your faith in the face of hurt? Paul offers three suggestions here. One, he says, "Look upward, boast in God." Look upward and boast in God. He He He starts verse 12 by saying, "Indeed, this is our boast." A couple of times during the next couple of verses that I just read from, he'll use words like pride and boast. And you're like, "Time out, preacher. 30 second timeout." I thought that we shouldn't be prideful. I thought that boasting and bragging was bad. Doesn't the Bible say that pride comes before the fall? And absolutely. But there is a type of boasting and a type of pride that is also good and healthy. Uh for instance, no one would be upset with you if after church today uh you told somebody, you know, uh my kid got straight A's in school this way. I'm so proud of him. That's okay. Or my kid was uh had a a a moral decision to make and he chose the right path. I'm so proud of him. Nobody be upset with you that if you met some friends for for dinner tonight and you you sat with them, you said, 'You know, I'm just proud of our church. We're sending kids to camp and and student camp and children's camp. We're baptizing some people in a couple weeks. I'm such I'm just proud to be a part of a church that is on mission. That's that's cool, right? That's good. Thumbs up. Thumbs up to that good boasting. But then there is bad boasting. We might call that bragging. How many of you just love to hang out with a brager? Aren't they fun? Always sharing status elevating information with you. I read this past week there's four types of bragging. There are the barebones braggger just always sharing unasked for stuff about themselves. Secondly, there is the one upmanship brager. That's a guy when when when when a buddy says, "Man, I shot 80 at the golf course yesterday." He said, "Well, that's good. I I shoot usually shoot 75." He He It's one upmanship. They They may say, "Well, that's good for you." I used to play golf with this guy and um lifelong friends. We've known each other for 30 years now. I was his pastor when our kids who now have kids were little and we've vacationed together. We've gone on motorcycle rides together. Uh we've just we've just been lifelong friends. But when I would play golf with this guy, if I hit a a shot that was decent, he would say, "That's a good shot for you." It took me several times to realize he was digging me. I said, "Brent, why can't you just put a period after shot? That was a good shot. Period. Ex maybe an exclamation point, please." But there's the one upmanship braggger. And then there's the reciprocal brag. These people when they go into a room that people are higher level, they don't go there to learn that they go there to try to level up to them. Instead of learning from them, they're always trying to let them know why they're on the same level as they are. And then probably the the most cunning brag is the humble brag. You ever heard the humble brag? Like this is the guy when when the buddies are standing around at the water cooler at work and and one guy says, "I shot 80." And the other guy says, "Well, I usually shoot 75." This guy says, "Well, you know, I gave up golf years ago. It just takes too much of my time away from my family and my faith. It's really too spiritual for that anymore. But it's nice that you play." So bragging on ourselves isn't cool and it doesn't reduce the hurt around us. But but there are two things that we can brag up brag about that will. Here's the key thought. We should boast or brag about what God is doing in Christ and what God is doing in the lives of other Christians. Paul said in Galatians 6:14, he says, "God forbid that I should boast in anything but the cross of Christ." So he bragged about that and then he also bragged about what God was doing in the lives of other Christians. In verse 14 he says that you are that we are your reason for pride just as you are also ours. Paul's saying you you guys make me proud when I look at what you're doing and when I look at how God's using you and and I'll just be I'll just be personal here. When I look at what God is doing at Elmarrage and how people are coming to faith in Christ, I mean, you had nearly 200 people here last Sunday and it was summer, right? Like that's unheard of. I mean, over a year ago, there was nobody meeting in this building. And when I see that, I just I'm I'm so thankful for that. I'm like, "Yay, God. Look what he's doing in the lives of other Christians. You see, I learned this lesson. It took me a long time, but about five or six years ago, I learned the best remedy for my soul was to celebrate the success of others. It's much better than jealousy. It's much better than envy. Because guess what? When you start celebrating somebody else's success, by extension, it becomes your success. Like, yay. Like like don't don't don't think too highly of me when I say I'm celebrating what God is doing at Elmarrage. I'm basically saying, "Yay, me. Look, we're on the same team. We're serving the same God and we're celebrating one another." Paul secondly says, "Look inward. Listen to your conscience." When you're struggling with hurt, church hurt, look upward. Brag about God. Look inward. Listen to your conscience. Look what he says in verse 12. The testimony of your conscience is that we have conducted our conscience, excuse me, is that we have conducted ourselves in the world and especially toward you with godly sincerity and purity, not by human wisdom, but by God's grace. Paul's saying basically, I know you're upset I didn't come when I said and when I thought I would come. But he said, "My conscience is clear. It's pure." Now, now you often hear people say, "Let your conscience be your guide." You ever heard that? Raise your hand if you heard it, somebody. Let your conscience be your guide. That's good and bad advice. It's bad advice if your conscience has become seared as with a hot iron, as the Bible says. But it's really good advice if your conscience is calibrated to God's word. when it is your conscience becomes sort of an internal warning system, the warning system of the soul. It it accuses you when you do wrong and it affirms you when you do right. And so Paul says concerning this issue of me not coming when when you'd hoped I'd come when I hoped I'd come and change plans changed this Macedonian call and all this stuff and a lot of people got saved by the way, but I know you're upset I didn't come. Paul's saying, "As I wrestle with that, I can still sleep at night because I know in my heart I did what the Lord wanted me to do." Listen, I love to sleep at night. Anybody else love to sleep at night? Man, count me in. Give me some sleep at night. And so, I don't want anything that would affect my sleep. And so if if I know if somebody's upset with me, uh oftentimes I'll try to make sure that thing is right before I go to bed at night. I got my wife's number on speed dial. Like, okay, honey, I'm sorry I said that about the meatloaf. Uh let's I need to sleep. All right. Because we need to live with a clean conscience. Paul's saying, "You may not like my decision." And and Lord knows there's been a lot of things in in the life of our church. Some I have regretted. I ah I wish I'd done that. But there's others I make a decision like I know you're not going to like it, but I believe it's what the Lord wants us to do. As much as I can understand the Lord's will. I believe it to be what the Lord wants us to do and I can sleep at night. Key thought when it comes to conscience, don't make your personal convictions someone else's biblical truth. And we all have personal convictions, right? Like, man, I don't think you should do this in church, and I don't think you should do that in church, but but you may not have a chapter and verse on it, but you grew up, that was your tradition. That's how things worked as in your home. And those aren't biblical truths. You understand that, right? They may not be bad. Matter of fact, they may be prescriptive for you, but they're not biblical truths that everybody in the body of Christ has to adhere to. Like you you you may grow you may have grown up in in in in a church environment where um you weren't supposed to eat or drink food in the sanctuary. You even grew up in a world where it was called the sanctuary. You realize the sanctuary were places where ducks live or stuff like that. That's a that's a weird word. It's like it's a duck sanctuary. Um and you may still hold that conviction. Well, God bless you. Honor that. Stay true to your conscience. But the rest of us when it's 150 degrees out need our water. We're trying to stay hydrated so we don't shrivel up between the back door of the church and the door to our car. And somebody just put some in their mouth when they bless you, girl. I eat in church. I drink in church. But if somebody has a different opinion of that, that's okay. Don't make your personal opinion, someone else's biblical truth. So, in the case of the Corinthian Christians, we're we're we're basing their unity with Paul on a matter of personal conscience, not biblical truth. How often do people get mad at the pastor over issues of personal preference? Not biblical truth. People will leave I I've lived this. People will leave your church over a personal preference. But those those same people will leave your church over a personal preference and go to another ch church that preaches something heretical on the doctrine of salvation. But it's okay. They're not eaten in a sanctuary, right? Third point that Paul makes dealing with hurt. Look outward. Think of others. Look at verse 15. It says, "Because of this confidence, I plan to come to you first so that you could have a second benefit." ESV translates that second benefit as a second experience of grace. And I really like that translation. You need to ask yourself, take the focus off. Here's what Paul's saying. I need to take the focus off of myself. I need to place it upon God. And then after that, I need to place it upon others. And I want to be in the lives of others a second experience of God's grace. Wouldn't that be rich, man? If if every church we went to, now we know the first experience of God's grace is salvation in Christ alone. Amen. But wouldn't it be rich and healthy if every church we went to was a second experience of God's grace? People loving each other, people working for the good of each other. Wouldn't it be great if every pastor friend that I have became not a person of judgment but a person of grace, a second experience of God's grace. Ask yourself, how can I be the grace of God in the lives of others? You see what this is important because this is talking about aim is a key thought. What you aim at determines your actions. What are you aiming to be? Are you aiming for church just to be your selfish uh you know everybody's going to take care of my personal needs and that's the aim or are you aiming to be a second experience of God's grace in the lives of others focusing not on yourself but upon others Rick Warren in his uh best-selling book purpose-driven life the first sentence says it's not about you or me get your eyes off yourself onto God and to others because what you aim at affects your actions. That's true in your marriage, isn't it? It's true in your parenting. When my wife and I were much younger, we we got married very early in life, but I I told her I Yeah. had this fantasy of of of of what our lives would look like as we aged and as we matured in in our relationship with each other. And and I had this little corny uh idea of what it would look like. I I said one day I want us to be married together. I want us to be stay together. I want us to grow old together. I want us to grow age spots on our hands together. And I want us to see our children grow up and watch their children grow up and know that our kids all are faithful in church and loving Jesus and our kids' kids are doing the same. And one day we can sit out front on uh our our our front porch swing and watch the kids and grandkids play in the grass. Well, then I moved to Arizona. We don't have front porch swings, but we had two front porch chairs. We have synthetic grass, and if our kids this time of year played on that, they would burn their feet. But other than those minor differences, that was our aim. It affected our actions. And now we're enjoying the outcome because it's not unusual for all of our kids and grandkids to be over the home. Splashing in a pool. I didn't think we'd have a pool. I didn't put that in the dream when I was, you know, 19 years old. I'm Oh, pool. That's good. Well, we'll trade the the front porch swing in for a pool. That's that's a win. Plus, it's a thousand degrees. And the fact that we have a pool is probably the only reason our grandkids come to see us. So, let's That's another win, too. Finally, a strategy for their hope. Look in verse 24. I actually believe this is probably the most important leadership verse in the modern church today. So, I want you to lead read it with that understanding. Look at chapter 1 vers 24. I do not mean that we lord it over your faith, but we are workers with you for your joy. Wow. Most needed verse for Christian leadership today because he's saying what you don't do and what you should do, you don't lord it over. Can I tell you in in the recent years there have been some highprofile pastors of some very large churches that have been fired and expelled from ministry because they were just mean. They they they lorded it over. They treated their staff like second rate citizens. The church members were there to serve them. I don't know if you know the the age of social media and everything has given uh some of us pastors a platform that we higher than what we actually have in our minds. For whatever reason, Paul said from the very beginning, don't lord it over. But on the other hand, he said work for their joy. Pastor Tyler here, his job is to work for your joy. Does that mean he ought to just never preach on sin and never talk about stuff you shouldn't do? Absolutely not. Because we know that sometimes getting rid of those things in your life, though you don't want to, can result in more joy. But the end result ought to be more joy. One of the last churches I pastored in Oklahoma, uh, I'd been there about five years. I stayed seven years, been there about five years. And and this family, uh, older woman and her husband came to my office. They made an appointment and all of that, came to my office and told me they were leaving the church. And it was no surprise to me because I thought they were going to leave the church for five years. You know, they just never were happy. And uh but I So when they told me they were leaving the church, honestly, I didn't try to talk them out of it. It probably is God's will for your life right now. But I did try to be nice and pastoral and I said, "If you don't mind me asking um just kind of an exit interview to inform us as we, you know, do ministry moving forward, could you tell me exactly why you're leaving the church?" And uh the lady said, "And and and by the way, I I I I share a lot of stories. I do embellish sometimes just to get more laughs, but this one I don't have to embellish at all. This is exactly what she said. She said, "Well, preacher, you know you're in trouble in Oklahoma when they call you preacher." Not, "Dear pastor, preacher, there's just way too much joy around here." I thought, "Man, when you leave, there's going to be a lot more." And I did ask her. I said, "Would you just please tell everyone when they ask you why you left the church, will you tell them the honest answer? You'll be our best marketing tool on the planet." And again, I don't have to embellish this whatsoever. Her actual first name was Joy. I I ended up calling her Joy Less, but anyways. But what if the goal was to make sure there's a whole lot more joy around the people you live with by your actions, by your aim, by your intentions that we work for each other's joy. The ultimate goal of Christian ministry is increase is to increase Jesus joy in the lives of others. Life's too short. Eternity is too important for that not to be the purpose of what we do. So, sure, you may have been hurt, and I'm sorry for that. I've been hurt. Guess what? You're going to be hurt. Somebody's going to disappoint you. I promise you. Either intentionally or unintentionally, somebody's going to disappoint you. I was at camp this past week and I I I I started feeling sorry for myself. There was this guy from one of our other campuses. I I hardly know him, but he he wasn't talking to me. And I'm like, I don't think that guy likes me. And then I'm like, I don't understand why that guy doesn't like me. He didn't even know me. I understand why people that know me don't like me. I mean, I get that. You get a free pass on that. But if you don't know me and then you don't like me, I'm like, I don't understand that. So, I'm like, I started trying to make him like me. I couldn't make him like me and then I just let it go. And then the next day he he saw me across the campus and he said, "Hey, pastor, how you doing? Good to see you." And I'm like, "Well, I guess he doesn't hate me." He was just busy the day before. How many times you've gone to church, the pastor didn't shake you hand your hand or somebody didn't say hi and you're like, "I ain't going back to that church. Preacher didn't shake my hand." Co was great for me, by the way. I shake anybody's hand like I love you too much to shake your hand. It's illegal to shake your hand. Now co's gone. They expect you to shake their hands. Hug them. I'm not a hugger, but they want you to hug them. And we get upset over the little things people do. But they may just have something going on in their life you don't know about. Here's what I learned a long time ago. Hurting people hurt people. And if somebody's hurting you, it might be because they are hurting. And what should be your response to work for their joy? Let's pray together. Well, you can't work for somebody else's joy if you don't have it. And the scriptur is pretty clear. You can't have joy if you don't know Jesus. If you're here today or watching online and you've never had that first experience of grace, the experience of Jesus coming to your heart, God forgiving you of all your sin, and securing a home for you in heaven, then right now, I'd love to lead you in a simple prayer right where you are where you could invite Jesus into your heart. and begin this journey of joy with him. And maybe right now you'd pray and just say, "Dear Lord Jesus," and pray in your heart. Just say, "Dear Lord Jesus, I I confess to you that I'm a sinner. Please forgive me of my sin and come into my heart and be my savior and lord. Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me, for coming out of the grave three days later, and now for coming into my heart today. and today I commit my life to you. If you prayed that prayer either here in the room or online, you'll want to let somebody know about it. If you're remote, you could text to 9400. All one word, I said yes. And if you're here in the room during this next song, you can just get up, go to the back of the room. One of our pastors are is there underneath the I said yes sign. And during this next And also I want to ask the believers in the room that already said yes to Jesus and have experienced that first experience of grace to look for ways not tomorrow, not next week, but today. How can I work for the joy of others? How can I be a second expression of God's grace in the lives of the people that live around me? Let's stand and worship. What gift of grace is Jesus my redeemer? There is no more for heaven now to give. He is my joy, my righteousness and freom. My steadfast love, my deep and boundless peace. To this I hold. My hope is only Jesus. For my life is wholly bound to his. Oh, how strange and divine I can see. All is mighty and not I, but through Christ in me. The night is dark, but I am not forsaken. For by my side, the Savior, he will stay. I labor on in weakness and rejoicing. For in my need, his power is displayed. To this I hold. My shepherd will defend me through the deepest valley will lead. Oh, the night has been one and I shall overcome. yet not I but through Christ in me. Oh no fate I dread, no fate I dread. I know I am forgi. The future's sure. The price it has been paid. For Jesus fled and suffered for my pardon. And he was raised to overthrow the grave. To this I hold. My sin has been defeated. Jesus now and ever is my Oh, the chains are released. I can sing. I am free and not I but through Christ in me. With every breath I long to follow Jesus for he has said that he will bring me home. And day by day I know he will renew me until I stand with joy before the throne. To this I hold. My hope is only Jesus. All the glory ever born to him. When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat. And not I, but through Christ in me. To this I hold. To this I hold. My hope is only Jesus. All the glory ever. When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat. Yet not I, but through Christ in me. When the race is complete, still my lips shall repeat. And not I, but through Christ in me. Yet not I, but through Christ in me. Yet not I, but through Christ in me. Hey, thank you so much for joining us today. We hope you guys have a great week and we will see you guys next week.